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GPV

(73,069 posts)
Sat Aug 20, 2022, 11:38 AM Aug 2022

Argh!

I'm struggling with my bulimia, just told hubby that and he laid his go-to reply about self-control and willpower on me. Then, when I tried to explain the real root cause is low self esteem he shut me down by acting like I shut him down because I never listen to him. What-the-fuck-ever!! He won't see my therapist with me or go to a Smart Family & Friends meeting because this is my problem, albeit one that causes trouble for the family.

It's not like he doesn't love me. He adores me. He's just an unempathetic bootstrapper who wants me to follow his advice on fixing myself. I'm going to keep trying to dial back the self-defensiveness and calmly explain what I need from him.

Had a good talk. He's still struggling but open to the idea of approaching my binge urges with love and reassurance. And yay, me. I stayed out of the food while waiting for halftime so we could wrap things up!

7 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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IbogaProject

(3,684 posts)
5. Good to hear you worked so much to communicate
Sat Aug 20, 2022, 03:50 PM
Aug 2022

And great to hear he listens and is at all open to helping.

Best wishes for you turning a corner towards better health.

Rhiannon12866

(222,887 posts)
6. Sounds like you made some incremental progress, sometimes it just takes time
Wed Aug 24, 2022, 01:41 AM
Aug 2022

And those who don't have the issues you do can't completely understand since it would be relatively easy for them. But it sounds like he's making an effort, an important first step. Hang in there, as we say, "progress not perfection."

Stuart G

(38,726 posts)
7. Yes, Rhiannon 12866 is totally correct. Time is the essence of change in attitude.
Fri Sep 2, 2022, 11:42 AM
Sep 2022

If he is willing to try to change, that is the best sign of all..Why?
Because willing to change means that person is open to ........."listening."

Many people will not listen to others on any level. Then, they are
...totally closed to all change that may improve their existence...(whatever that is??...

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