Then go home early, even if it's an Uber.

I'm sure your wife will understand since she knows you. In the spirit of the holiday, it's a gift, if you think about it.

Good luck and happy holidays!

Take care of YOU. Leave early, go home and try to enjoy your own quiet, tranquil, non-brewery Christmas. I, like you don't relish being around people over-imbibing alcohol

My mother always hated Christmas. She tried to hide it, but once I was old enough, I knew it. I never liked Christmas, probably at least partially because she influenced me. Then when she died, I was over it. My mom has been gone 30 years this year. This year, my sister died in a car wreck in November.

Last edited Sat Dec 23, 2023, 11:47 PM - Edit history (1)

I will be very happy to see spring arrive!

after drinking?

They won't be drunk. I told her I didn't want to be the last ones to leave, and she's okay with that. So I'll most likely be the one driving.

The family dinner is scheduled for tomorrow evening at 7. Problem is, my husband is usually blacked out by 5. And if he manages not to drink before then, the DTs start. We did this 2 years ago and 5 min inside the door everyone was pulling me into the hallway asking WTF?
The ride home was even more fun. He thought I was his uber driver and proceeded to describe to me in great detail what he would like to do to his brother's wife. That ride ended with him believing he was being kidnapped and attacking me as I was driving. He did 2K worth of damage to the car before I could get him out.
He's passed out in the living room now, after breaking ANOTHER phone.
His family knows obviously, but although they live less than 3 miles away, we hear from them once a year. His mother knows what I'm going through, he apparently got the gene from her father. She and I used to hang out, no more. No one has been in our house for 3 years.
I just want to make it to Tuesday, when he is supposed to go back to work. Then I get a 3 day breather before another 4 day binge.

That sounds horrible.

Have you ever thought of Alanon? That's a group, unlike AA which is for alcoholics, which is a support group for family and friends of alcoholics. I joined AA in 2008 and my AA sponsor started in Alanon to support a good friend and was persuaded that she had an alcohol issue as well. So for quite awhile I attended Alanon as well, a really diverse group of male and female, young and older. I don't know if you're interested, but here's a link to find Alanon Groups near you. Sounds like you might find it helpful. And please let us know how you're doing.

https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/find-an-al-anon-meeting/

I ghosted with my daughter and left the party at around 7:30. Nice to be there, but even nicer to bail early. I stayed away from the bar and wasn't tempted to sneak a drink.

Success!

Hope everyone else had a clean Christmas!

Though the holidays are one of the worst times of the year for alcoholics - not just that everyone drinks, even those who normally don't, but even the TV ads are pushing liquor. I lost my mother in 2011 to an accident, but I joined AA in 2008, and so for the past several years one of my best AA friends has invited a group of us over for Christmas dinner. So everyone there, including her husband and sister-in-law, are in AA and sober. So we have a nice time and none of us have to worry about anyone drinking or suggesting it to the rest of us. Wishing you a Happy and sober New Year as well!