I can only say that husband said sometimes food was like eating a paper bag, but he knew he had to eat a little. That being said there are probably things that are easier to eat for each individual, hopefully you will find something you can stomach.

I'm not even interested, though, although I know logically I should be. I had two bites of a meatball sub tonight; first food in two or three days. That's it.

and I'm probably better letting someone who has been through the experience add their insight. I just remember my husband telling another patient that food tasted like a paper bag, but he knew he had to eat. This was when we were at the ACS Hope Lodge in NYC where we had a communal kitchen with other patients ... it was a bitter sweet scenario with aromas making one sick one day and then someone cooking french toast another day and him saying 'maybe I'll try that"

Try bland, but flavorful if that makes sense. French toast was a big breakthrough (and then they added bacon to our weekend breakfast) but the company in the kitchen did help.

Sending you positive thoughts and lots of hugs

(though that was a case during one course of a particular chemomedicine (Oxyplatin), which made everything taste metallic and made me hypersensitive to cold - have to wear gloves to get into the fridge).

Anyway, we're past that. I have a colostomy, which limits the food I eat, both type and quantity, plus it's got multiple herniations, but we can't fix them because of the danger of surgery from all the other chemo, then also gastric-reflux from years of this; between the two and all the chemo I don't want to eat. I might start with some saltines and then I can usually get into something I can tolerate, but at best it only lasts a day or two then I'm back into not eating for days.

I was perfectly fine until I turned 45 and then it all went to hell after that. Now I'm 51 and it's just getting worse.

I'm really sorry and do not have any answers This is a road that nobody wants to travel and no one knows until they have been in your shoes. I do know someone who did have a colostomy 30+ years ago and still sees her surgeon from John Hopkins on occassion, although she did not have cancer. When she asked him a few years ago why he still makes time for a lunch with her when she is in the the neighborhood he replied 'because you are person who was closest to death and survived' She was at JH for 9+ months and is still here 30 plus years later. I can only wish that it offers a glimmer of hope to you.

but I never want to be "*that*" person - the one closest to death that survived (no offense to your friend) - I like to feel I'm further along the curve. It would scare me that I'm living the worst-case-scenario.

and to be told years later that you were the worst patient who survived is not particularly encouraging ... except if it was told to you years later.

We never know where we fall on the 'survival spectrum' but we can hope to be one of the lucky ones and maybe bend the curve with our actions ... to be on the best part of the curve. Last week I read one of the studies presented at the recent ASH conference by the doctor's in my husband's transplant team. I can safely say that I know four, if not more, of the 100 + cases presented (some we lost touch with) in the study, two survived and two did not. Odds are 50% survival at 5 years, we just hope we beat the odds going forward and I hope you do as well.

As they say in the transplant world ... you want to be a boring patient

1) My cancer metastasized from my colon to my lungs (instead of my liver). That was unusual.
2) I developed "hostile bladder" from my original surgery. That was unsusual.
3) I developed chemo-induced diabetes from the steroids in the chemo - that was unusual.

There's more, but every time I turn around there's something "unusual".

I wish I was a boring patient.

However 6 years after my stage 3 diagnosis and 3 years after my stage 4 diagnosis, I'm still chugging along. It's just a long fight. I now know why obitiuaries often say so-and-so passed after a long battle with cancer. I'm still not making any plans 10 to 15 years out, but I think at this point I'll be around 3 years from now, if not 5.

- Tab

sorry you have not always followed that script

It is a journey that we take one step at a time. Obviously I only know that from a caregivers point of view, but I still take the small steps and it is hard to look too far into the future.

Sorry for the late reply, I do not check into the daily political theater as often as I did before ... too busy finding our footing for the next step.

I am just starting on the journey, colon cancer metastasized to the liver so I'm following the "usual" there. Hoping for no new surprises.

Seriously, it's helped so many people.

during and after, my throat radiation. I lived on Ensure and coffee.

Steroids or something might be prescribed to help you. I just hated that metallic taste...totally ruined Moon pies for me.

Best wishes, Tab

They give me induced diabetes.

But I have managed to start eating every day - not a ton - but some.

No fun at all. Glad you've been able to start eating again. Your stomach shrunk, so it'll take time to stretch it out again.

If you can't eat, at least make sure you take in some ensure. Is drinking much of a problem? Personally, I ALWAYS have an appetite. Sometimes I even feel like eating when I'm nauseated, which is quite often. So I maybe can't empathize as much with that aspect of your cancer, but I know frustrating it is to have deal with cancer AND all the side effect and bullshit we have to deal with in treating the cancer.

I hope its just a matter of time. I know you had a pretty awful time with that fucking new drug they gave you...is that what set things off? Were you eating before that whole episode?

I'm sorry that this shit is happening to you, Tab. You know I always got your back and I'm just a phone calll away. Also, if you ever need something (like you crave something you can only get in Canada or want some other item), I can always send you something. We don't have much in the financial sense, with both of us paying of student loans, paying ridiculous rent and me not working, so I may not be able to help hugely money wise, but if you need something, just let me know.

Evoman.

broke myself out of that cycle. It was making me shaky, weak, fatigued, nasueas, I'm not perfect now but I'm doing much better.

kriscarr.com is her website. She has done amazing things with diet, herbs and vitamins.

I'm sorry about your situation but maybe now you're off the chemo, going on her program is a good idea.

but I just wanted to check on you and see if your eating has gotten any better? I hope that you have gotten to a place where you can at least east a little each day.

I don't have cancer, but check in here occassionally because of my dad's battle. I have read some of your posts and really admire your honesty and your determination.

Stay strong!

Took a while, and I think modification of my prescriptions a bit, but I get hungry now and have added about 7 pounds. Thanks for your good wishes!

- Tab

A 7 lb weight gain is awesome news!!! My dad really struggled with eating, and I know us telling him "you need to eat, you need to eat" was probably annoying when he just couldn't bear to do it. Your post has made my day! I'm VERY happy you have had this major breakthrough and actually are getting hungry. Fingers crossed it continues!!

Glad to hear about the weight gain. That is great!