...at all. Not even close. It is completely wrong to add stress and worry to those people and families going through cancer treatments.

Uben, I don't know what state you and your wife are in, but if you are in CA and I can be of help, please let me know.

Carol is from Dallas, and I grew up 60 miles or so north of there, where we have lived for the past 17 yrs. We both have family here for support, but thanks for your kind offer. As the news of her cancer gets around, the phone has not stopped ringing. We have lots of close friends and Carol made many during her years as a counselor.

...you both have lots of support.

We have City of Hope but the waiting list is horrible. My heart breaks for those who do not have insurance and it is obsene that we have millions with no coverage and millions more under insured. No one fighting cancer or any other illness should every have to worry about paying for it.

Your wife's new candle is spiced apple.

I always have cinnamon apple pot pourri going this time of year in the house. I'll admit, I've been in a fuzz lately. Everything is happening so fast I hardly have time to think about it being the holidays.

I have candles all year around. I buy scented ones sometimes.

We have no fireplace but burn it in a little jar. It reminds her of home.

The camper sounds like it would be a great help if you can afford it.

I've always felt strongly about the healthcare debate. Our experience makes it even more black-and-white for me. Fixing our healthcare system needs to be our top priority. Unfortunately, Republicans try to pit generations against each other on this topic. Their inhumane stance infuriates me, as calm as I am trying to stay these days.

I'm sure you won't have much time to think as you shuffle from one test to another.
I am lucky. I'm just a couple of miles from my local hospital and treatment center and I'm also on Medicare with a fairly good secondary insurance. So far the treatments haven't cost us much.

I've had all the test you mentioned. I suggest that your wife ask if she can talk during the procedures. It gets lonely when you are laying still for what seem forever. Being able to talk helps. The radiology team will tell her when to be quiet.

The advice I gave about crying was some of the best I heard. It breaks the ice when
down in the dumps and sometimes gets a big laugh.

I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer in April 2010. I had no idea that I would still be here a year and a half later feeling fairly good and able to be a productive human being. Chemo was a wonderful awful experience. It has already given me so many more months with my family. I met so many wonderful doctors, nurses and patients during my treatments. This part of my life has given me a strange peace I cannot begin to describe. My thoughts will be with you this week.

We're not that far from treatment. 30 miles for these tests, but chemo and radiation can be done about 15 miles away. That's the nearest town, and I make that trip 5-6 times a week anyway. We are both retired (too young for medicare) and we have a private healthcare policy. It's a high deductible ($5K), with a total out-of-pocket of $10K. Since her first bout with cancer, we have always kept an additional $10K available for an emergency such as this.

I can tell ya if someone had told us 9 yrs ago we would have another nine yrs, that would have been a good thing. We both retired and have spent every day together since then. I realize how fortunate we are to have been able to do that, and there has never been a regret. So even if that's all we are gonna get, I guess we should be thankful for those years. Not all are as lucky. I have hope that the chemo can ease the pains and extend her life for a good while longer, and I hope the quality of those days are favorable.

And to you, I wish for the best outcome available. We got at least nine yrs, and are looking forward to more.

That is if I understand you correctly. It just doesn't seem fair.

That happened to me before. I thought I could finally relax, & wouldn't you know it, a new year happened.

Wishing your wife the very best.

Money is the least our worries right now (I wish no one had to have that worry when battling this disease). I'd give every dime I have for one more day with this woman.