Dad was "in" hospice - at a facility. The care he received, and it was strictly palliative, was wonderful. It is my understanding that palliative care is all they are allowed to provide. We were by his side, non stop, for over a week, and the Hospice people fed, counseled and comforted us. They made sure we were fully apprised of the whole death process so that we would know what to watch for, and what it meant.

My mother and sister both used at home Hospice care. Again, it was strictly palliative care. A nurse came by several days a week to do an assessment, order any equipment or supplies we might need, and answer any questions, address any concerns we might have. And we were encouraged to call them, any time, day or night, if we had a question or concern. When Mom and Chris finally died, Hospice was the first call we made, and they took over, from there.

Afterwards they continued to check on us, just to see how we were coping and to see if there was any further assistance we needed.

I really can't speak highly enough of our Hospice experiences.

Pretty much everyone has been positive in their opinion on hospice services. It's just in my case there seemed to be some confusion as to what constituted "hospice". My oncologist thinks I'm on regular care, my palliative care doctor thinks I'm on hospice; obviously there's a communication problem but I'm not aware of any actual "I hereby denounce my cancer care and sign up for hospice" form.

since I'm not on Medicare

I don't know where private insurance draws the line.

Thanks

I hope you got the answers to your hospice questions. Have you officially entered hospice? I saw on another thread where you replied to slipslidingaway, and I was happy to see you in the forum.

My fingers are crossed that you are getting the answers you need, that you are feeling ok (all things considered) and that you are at peace with the decision you've made. I think about you often and check in to see if you have new posts. Please let us know how you are doing.

I don't know that I'm "officially" in hospice, but I'm not seeking additional treatment. That said, "hospice" usually denotes 6 months or less expected and I don't have any reason to think I'll be dead in 6 months, and people can stay in hospice status much longer than that. I'm kind of in this netherworld.

Reminds me of a beer run to Canada I made with a friend when I was in college. Didn't bother to bring enough American money to get the beer back through the border (they won't take Canadian) forcing us to try to get back into Canada and explain to the customs officer we weren't trying to *enter* Canada, we were trying to leave it. For a while we were stuck where we couldn't get back into Canada, but couldn't get into the U.S. (ultimately we solved it by letting them confiscate a case or two of Bradör so we could afford the tax duty on the remainder).

Not sure why this reminds me of that, but hey...

sounds like you are in an ok place considering...Not officially in hospice means you still have time with the people you love and who love you. And, not being sick from the treatments is not a bad place either. I'm hopeful you are not in pain and can do some things you can enjoy over the next months.

That's a funny story about the beer, and not that the situation you are in is funny, but I understand...you are neither here nor there, don't want to get to the next place, but can't go back to where you want to be. I cannot begin to fathom the multitude of emotions you probably go through on a daily basis. I know you're strong from reading your posts here, and your wife sounds like a wonderful person. Spend time with her, love her, and let her love you.

Drop me a note if you ever want to pm/chat/vent. I will keep sending good vibes your way.