...where Carol goes.

From the first time I ever saw the poem, I loved it. I have a mug that says "Breaking Cancer Ain't For Sissies. I wish I had thought to buy several. I picked the one up and have never seen them again. Inspiration comes from all sorts of different places.

She was pretty bad that day, both in lucidity and appearance. We left the cancer room and went to the hospital to be typed for blood. Then on Friday, she spent 7 hrs in an out-patient bed getting two units of blood and some lasix. Today, she was doing pretty well and had good color. She had a blood draw every day last week.

The ascites and edema are still complicating. She's probably carrying 50 lbs of fluid, at least, so you can imagine the discomfort she is experiencing. Although, the lasix has her peein' up a storm, so that should start having some affect on things before long. I don't see her condition getting any better until the fluid has been dealt with.

will draw that ascities out soon,as I know that will give her some relief. Is she still at the assisted living center? How is that working out? I know it must relieve your mind that she is in a place where she will be cared for and monitored and I hope you are finally able to get some much needed rest too.

Take care and please let Carol know we are all thinking about her !!

I have to make a decision by tomorrow whether or not to keep her there. I think they can supply the care she needs as long as she doesn't get worse. She likes it a lot. The staff are quite nice and the place is very clean. They are trying to sell me on a one bedroom apartment at $3500/mo, but we don't need all the extra room it comes with. Since she is bed-ridden right now, all she really requires is a bed, a tv, and a bathroom. When her shoulder heals and she is up walking again, I will bring her home.

As far as the rest goes, I haven't had a lot. LAst week was filled with trips to the hospital and chemo center, trying to get her set up where she is at, and figuring out the logistics of having her transported everywhere. I have gotten sleep, though, and that has been a welcomed relief. I took a few hours at home yesterday to clean and pay bills. I was gonna use that time to relax and do something recreational, but in order to avoid being overwhelmed by everything else, I used it to get things in order in case we encounter yet another bump in the road.

It has let me rest knowing she is okay, and that has been nice. She doesn't want to really see or talk to anyone, but I can't be there to entertain her all the time, so I have asked her friends to drop in on her occasionally. She really does need to see them and they need to see her. I think she'll be there for a couple of months at least.

I was helping my mom and stepdad before all this happened, and I haven't had a lot of time to see to them. He is doing radiation on his prostate and she has rheumatoid arthritis, and I am the only family member that lives here. My stepdad still drives, but he has been having trouble with his eyes, too, and I worry about them. They have plenty of resources and good insurance, so mainly transportation is their biggest issue.

I hope the lasix gets rid of all of that fluid quickly. I cannot imagine the discomfort she must feel and the pain you go through while you are watching her go through this. Both of you need a break from all of this and I wish we could give one to you.