An update on my mom...

I had no idea at how much all of this would impact not just our family, but my marriage, too. The husband is a truck driver and he's been on the road up until a week ago. I felt very isolated trying to deal with all this and it got to the point he and I were barely talking. He wasn't telling me things that were going on with him even when I asked. A couple of nights ago we pretty much had it out. There was yelling, then crying and finally talking. I had slept on the couch for four nights straight before that. I think we've got a lot of our issues worked out and we're actually talking. Not best friends like we've always been but I think we're getting there. He's actually helping sharing the burden with me which wasn't happening before the big fight. Anyway, on that front things are much better.

My mom is another situation that's not gone well. She's been on steroids from almost the beginning. While mom was getting her radiation they had talked to me about weaning her off the steroids. The paper they handed me said 4mg and mom has been taking 6mg. The oncologist had a prescription done for her that was 4mg. So I have these two different dosages of steroids and I'm like what the hell. So before Mom started chemo we had an appointment with a nurse going over everything to educate us about it. I spoke with her about the steroids and she said to keep mom on the 6mg at 3 times a day. I did that.

Well after Mom's first round of chemo she did fine initially. She was downstairs in the basement apartment and I thought she was doing fine. She got confused about all her meds so I got an organizer for her medication and that seemed to help a lot. Her feet began swelling. Then I began to notice she didn't seem to be eating well even after I talked to her about how she's feeling and how important it was for her to tell me everything.

Monday, she talked about being constipated and blood on the toilet paper. I said well it's hemorrhoids. Her feet were concerning me, too, because of the edema so I called the cancer clinic and took her down. The NP said that we needed to go ahead and wean her off the steroids. I got Mom some Miralax for the other problem. Last night when I was downstairs, mom said she thought she had a sore on her backside. I went back down when she changed in her pajamas to take a look and I was floored. Her butt was raw and had areas where it was bleeding. I told mom that first thing this morning I was calling the clinic and getting her in. This looked serious to me.

So today we went and her BP was a frightening 62/39. It took several tries to get that. The NP came in and checked the area and said Mom needed to go to wound care. First though, they were putting fluids in her for her BP. The last BP was 90/54 which was better.

I had left for a little while because the clinic is close by and they said she could go home. Home health was going to come in and help us plus we were moving Mom upstairs so I could take better care of her. Mom called and said they wanted her to spend the night in the hospital for her BP. I got a bit panicked and drove to the clinic. I asked to see the NP because I needed more information.

The NP said she was going not just because of Mom's BP. Mom's white count was twelve point something on Monday. Today it was 1.5, I think. The huge drop was very concerning. The NP said that with the low BP, a low grade fever as well, the horrible area in her groin and butt area, and the edema was a perfect storm for a disaster.

So, after getting Mom admitted to the hospital the physician decided on a CT of the groin area because of how bad it looks. They also ordered a ton of blood work as well. I spoke with the doctor outside the room and he said that Mom will probably be there a little while. Mom is thinking a couple of nights. I'm thinking three or four nights. I worked the wards when I was in medical and patients in my Mom's condition stayed anywhere from 5-7 days. It will depend on the seriousness of the infection. They're also starting wound care immediately, too. We should know more tomorrow.

We've got the living will done. I have to get a new power of attorney completed which I plan on doing after Mom is out of the hospital. I'm going to see if I can get a notary to come to the house. The doctor spoke to Mom about a DNR and she's nowhere near ready for that.

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed right now...again. It's better because my husband is home which it looks like he'll be around for a while. As badly as we need the money, I'm glad he's here. That means a lot to me. The last few months I have gotten to despise him being a truck driver. He's been doing it for a very long time. I don't feel quite as isolated.

Anyway, here's hoping for good news tomorrow. Thanks everyone. It means so much I can come here and just let all this loose in one place.

Oh, I almost forgot. When Mom gets out of the hospital she is upstairs with us. We have a spare room that's already been converted for her.