had their scares.

Yes, too often when you have dealt with the realities of the disease, you then have to deal with all those "helpful" friends and relatives and the fragility of those closest to you.

Stay strong. Once you get the medical help, perhaps some help for your husband to deal with this.

When death's shadow appears, it is the survivors who often suffer most.

Please check out these web sites and send me an email if you want more info.

https://www.drmcdougall.com/health/education/health-science/hot-topics/medical-topics/breast-cancer/

https://www.healthpromoting.com/

https://www.pcrm.org/

Loved one’s want to share the fears as well as the success. Physically hug the ones you love, so in the low times you can reflect on those embraces.

All good wishes to you and your family.

Kansas City and the breast clinic I go to for mammograms has a support system available for cancer patients. I’m fairly sure it is extended to husband/partners. Maybe where you are they have the same type of program.
As for the waiting, I know when I had to wait for days for biopsy results, I kept busy. I didn’t stay home. I went out and did things to try to keep my mind off the waiting. By the way you don’t have to be kind to crazy people when you feel weak. You shouldn’t have to waste your energy on them. I wish you and your husband peace.

It really helped to vent, more than I ever thought it would!

Among the things I worry about is a sister-in-law who had breast cancer about the same time as I had my first bout. I had a lumpectomy; she had a mastectomy and vociferously and persistently questioned my choice. The new cancer (if it is indeed cancer) is in the same breast, and I know she will say (and she is of course right) that if I'd had a mastectomy I wouldn't be going through this again. Grrrr. She excels at making unhelpful remarks that make people feel bad. So I told my husband that as far as she's concerned, the new cancer is in my other breast!

It was great medicine for me.

I so know what you man about not wanting to be kind to crazy people when feeling weak.

My MIL barged her way into the house while I was in treatment and she was the last thing I needed.

I told her to stay away and she was there the next day. We don't have a good relationship and never did. I was always polite though - no matter how crazy she got.

I was miserable on top of miserable.

Be you and vent when you need to vent.

But I agree with you, I also think it's hardest on your loved one. I actually think it's easier to be the patient than the caregiver. My husband has been great through all my cancer adventures, but it's been hard on him.
On the bright side, they'r getting better and better with treatment all the time.

Today I told my husband I didn't care if he wanted to talk about my cancer with his friends, and I couldn't believe how grateful he was. I wish I'd mentioned it sooner.

I still don't have a definitive diagnosis--I had the biopsy on Wednesday and will hear next week, but both the radiologist and the surgeon said it doesn't look good. I can feel the lump, which I couldn't do last time, it was so small. This thing has grown to a one inch mass in just six months. My February regular mammogram shows nothing.

I'll feel better when I know for sure what's going on, and what we're going to do about it. I did not have any trouble at all, other than some tiredness, with the chemo and radiation last time. I actually liked being bald--I rocked the look!