Holding good thoughts for you.

❤💚🧡💛

Please, please do not blame yourself. Self-compassion is an important resource in your recovery.
Forgive yourself for any perceived neglect. Your body needs your love more than at any time. Your
thoughts make a difference in your healing.

You know that you are in shock right now. You are brave. You will find the inner and outer
resources to accept and recover from this as you have with other major challenges in your life.

My initial diagnosis was in spring of 2013, followed by hysterectomy, chemo and radiation. It returned in the summer of 2017 on my upper colon, too, with hip and back pain as the signs (that I too ignored). A different chemo that time. Then the same colon-based tumor returned in the summer of 2019.

I got a second opinion from Ohio State University, and they suggested the immunotherapy drug Keytruda, originally a drug for lung cancer but now indicated for endo cancer as well. They don't have good statistics for survivorship for endometrial cancer, because not enough people have died!

Be aware that there are side effects. After 18 months of a once-every-three-weeks infusion, I have developed rheumatoid arthritis in my hands. It's not totally debilitating, but I've had to get some mechanical aids for opening jars and I'm having trouble knitting. But when comparing hand problems vs. the return of cancer, I know what I'd choose!

If you've got questions, send me a DU mail. Best of luck to you, Woodsprite!

My gastro guy called me 3x the other night. He looked at the scans and said it is a 1x1.5" mass that was not in the colon, but was along side of the sigmoid colon. He even called the Radiologist who read the scan. Gastro guy talked to me for awhile on the phone and asked me to come in the next morning. That office visit, consult, and exam lasted from 11:50-2:05. He took a thorough history, found my file from 2001 and added several pages of notes to it. He did a rectal and vaginal exam after asking my permission for each process. He said he felt something outside of (not in) the rectum which is why he wanted to do a vaginal exam. With that he assured me that, although it's not a regular thing he does, he is trained for that. He felt something on the outside of the vaginal wall, not in. At that point he got on the phone to my OB/GYN who handled the endo cancer. He wanted to speak directly to the doctor and was tired of being put on hold so he called the emergency labor/delivery line. The OB/GYN doc said it was very unlikely that it was something to do with the endo cancer that I had 14 yrs ago, but that they would work together to try to figure this out (apparently they're friends).

That was my Tuesday morning. My 3:00 Tue appt was a follow-up with the urologist. I do have 2 kidney stones on the right side - a 4mm and 7mm. They did a urinalysis and said there was microscopic blood detected. They called me about the culture today and said that with my history and what's currently going on, they want to do a CT Urogram with contrast and a cystiscope (sp?). CT Urogram got turned down by insurance (so far). They don't want to cover it since I just had a CT on the 12th. For the cystiscope, if I want twilight anesthesia for that procedure, I have to pay for it out of pocket.

Three days ago Highmark turned down my husband's first ever colonoscopy ($1828). He called them and they said we should ignore the bill because they must have put down the wrong number.

They removed a foot of his colon and lots of lymph nodes. He took five days to recover in the hospital and a few months to feel more normal again.

He gets an annual colonoscopy. Surgery completely removed the cancer. He had large masses around tiny cancer noldules. So far he's clear.

Even a large mass might be removable.

No guilt. Get better soon.