and to you all in her family.



Tikki

But I'm going to stay strong for Chris. She's an amazing woman who deserves so much better than this.

The two of you will be in my thoughts. Keep fighting and unload here as often as you need to. We have big shoulders to lean on and we will celebrate the smallest of victories with you. Make sure you take care of yourself too. It sounds like you are her rock.

I have an 85 year old mother, with oncoming dementia, and a 95 year old widowed, childless aunt who has ended up in my care, too. I'm working a full time job, and had to move into my Aunts's house, and take over full responsibility for it, which is a bit of a financial drain. It's been a rough go, that's for sure. I ended up having to move my brother back from California, to help. He had lost his job so there was no excuse for him not to come back here to pitch in.

We are in similar situations. I finally got a counselor because I feel my reserve strength and adrenalin are running low. I'm also doing visualizations. In this case, I envision myself hiking the Appalachian Trail, step-by-step -- and going through some of its excruciating challenges as well as its sweet moments.

I've been dealing with a family trauma of one kind or another, since my father died in 1999 and haven't taken a vacation since 2004. I realize I can't continue to draw on my diminishing strength and energy reserve. The anxiety attacks are coming with an increasing frequency and now I've developed a form of chondritis that is stress triggered. That is very frightening since it feels like a heart attack so I just hope that a quick injestion of an anti-inflamatory stops the pain so that I know it's just the chondritis.

My niece and nephew are urging me to take a break and visit them in Asheville, this summer, so that's my focus. My sister was able to join us for Thanksgiving dinner, and I just talked to my nephew (he's visiting from NC) and she was at the kitchen table, eating breakfast. We can only hope and pray that the radiation and spinal chemo will give her some relief, and some of her mobility back.

I keep visualizing the time I climed the Great Orme, in Northern Wales. Spectacular view of the ocean, in one direction, and my ancestral home, which is my favorite place in the world, in the other. It's where I've instructed my family to take my ashes, when the time comes.

That has been one of my issues, too. I have had a very demanding cycle at work that has kept me from taking time off.

We are taking some time next month to get away on a boat and chill. Neither of us plan to think one serious thought during our vacation. My hope is that we both come back refreshed and fortified.

A break in the mountains sounds wonderful. I wish it could come earlier for you.

I've practically helped raise her 3 kids, and even though they are all grown, now, I still feel a big obligation to be there for them and for my brother in law, who is one of my dearest friends.

I would love a late spring trip to Asheville because my niece wants me to help her plan and plant her very first vegetable garden.

Planting spring vegetables and teaching your niece about gardening -- that's perfect.

Your plans sound wonderful. It seems as if you have been there for your niece always. A vegetable garden sounds healing for everyone.

I hope the same for you. I wish you healing and peace always.