but talk to your doctor. Or physical therapist to get that stretched out and moving again.

3x a week. half the time I'm in the pool and the other half on land. It's not like I'm not moving. I am.

My experience (I was very active before my accident 6 years ago - weights 3 x per week, 10 miles of stairs 5 times per week - tai chi plus combat classes daily - HIT training - yoga daily - pilates 2 times per week - etc) and now I have problems walking.

It became much more in focus for me when I realized that I was comparing my current self to my past self and the disconnect was driving me nuts....

So cut yourself some slack and keep doing the work to get back to who you want to be. You'll get there in some fashion.

I go in to have 2 disks removed from my neck and a fusion of 3 vertabrae, not looking forward to it.

Mental attitude is so important in healing. So also work at looking at the beautiful and positive things in your life. Focus on those like a laser, feel gratitude and leave the negative thoughts. They don't help. I know, I get into that pattern myself about things.

I may need your moral support come february though cali .

I hope your surgery is successful and everything works out well. Happy holidays.

Sorry I don't have any words of wisdom. I have arthritis in my knees, and they usually hurt every day (though I would guess not as severely as your pain). I can get tiresome.

I hope your healing process improves and you get some relief.

damage. You may also get some good advice on using heat or cold to lessen the pain. A lot of surgeons think their job is done once you leave the operating room. Insist on getting the long care treatment you need!

Ask your doctors about other pain killers. Common wisdom suggests that serious pain requires narcotics, but sometimes NSAIDS do a better job! It depends on the person. Just get some professional advice on dosing - just because they are OTC doesn't mean they are totally harmless!

and I'm taking Ibuprophen for the inflammation and for the pain. I take very little of the percoset because I hate the shit. As they told me at the beginning of pt, I have to learn to walk all over again- and walking correctly (I'm on crutches but I put about 50% of my weight on the bad leg) is so damned hard. Part of it is the hardware and my leg trying to adjust to it.

It was excruciating back pain from a cluster of serious conditions.

Instead of risky surgery, took the advice of one doc to "walk IN water."

The flotation took the weight off the injured tissues and nerves and after a few months of three times a week in a therapy pool, I was able to go from wheelchair to walker to cane and then none of the above.

Also was able to go from Vicodin plus prescription naproxen and prescription muscle relaxants to nothing except very occasional regular naproxen (alene.)

Yes, it cost a membership to a health club, but it saved my life.

Don't know if it is applicable to your sad situation, but I hope it is.

It's amazing what the right application of heat and stretching can do for damaged muscles! Most YMCAs have a warm water pool just for people to exercise in.

I have dealt with chronic pain since '65. I have had ups and downs(the downs you remember most). While everyone you know can understand a bad hair day, a toothache--even a broken leg they assume you will heal and be good as new. It's when you never quite recover,have many bad episodes that they either feel uncomfortable asking how you are or perhaps think you are perhaps having a long pity party. It is worse for those who have problems that are not visible. It's not an age factor nor one of gender and I have not seen where one condition gets more or less understanding then another.
They ask how you are and you may say ok(it's a stretch but just a small lie) however five minutes later you feel like an anvil has landed on your most sensitive areas. Nerve endings rage day(and always worse at night). Weather can make it worse as can any mild activity. Other times agony arrives with no explaination at all. Meds may help but many think it a crutch and often times they still do little more then a handful of gummi bears. Your social life is nill. Often times you find it better to seek out the comfort of four walls where you don't have to explain your pain to others as a reason for not going out or even having company.
It can be a long lonely road at times in a society where it is assumed there is always a magic pill to get you back 100%. Your goals are best in small doses as should be your bad days. One must think of a better day ahead or perhaps one you may have had a day or so ago. Even hospitals simplify your pain with their number system "describe your pain from 1-10". How can you describe it when it is off the charts? How can you explain that you have several numbers of pain at the same time?
I have found it best to find a pain buddy--someone like you who has chronic pain and understands the yo-yo effect,who knows flare ups,crashes and lends an ear when you need it most. Talking and sharing is great medicine.

"Meds may help but many think it a crutch and often times they still do little more then a handful of gummi bears. Your social life is nill. Often times you find it better to seek out the comfort of four walls where you don't have to explain your pain to others as a reason for not going out or even having company."


Hammer meets nail head and pounds it into the ground. I'm going to borrow this. It's fantastic.

to fuss and complain, it's not something you need to grin about and bear. Hurt hurts.

I broke my arm last Valentine's day, clear in two, slept in a chair for over 3 months, and I did not have the surgery and misery that you describe. I'm almost OK now - and it will happen to you as well.

So - tell it, and it helps a little to let it out. It will eventually be lots better and ultimately a memory.
You have my deep sympathy.

It seems like people have short attention spans sometimes...like you will magically get better. Learning to balance is incredibly hard (especially for someone like me, who is a Type A personality). I don't want to be a burden on people, but at the same time, I NEED help sometimes. I don't want to worry people, but sometimes I need to discuss things that worry people.

Hang in there, cali.

Last edited Sat Dec 24, 2011, 12:10 PM - Edit history (1)

I am in pain most of the time. You have every right to complain. Being in pain all of the time sucks and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I have a pain management doctor and you will find help in here.

My husband also lives with pain. He has been referral for acupuncture. He has had treatments before and says they help. The only problem is that you only get so many treatments per year.

I use Reiki. It works for me. I have completed part one of training. I am terrible doing it on myself but I am great with animals.

Hang in there and don't be afraid to try alternative medicine or practices.

Chronic pain is no joke. Just a small pain can disrupt your sleep and plain wear you down. Living with major pain is a serious problem, especially when you're stuckl between the pain and the pills!

I hope you find a way to feel better soon!

Bone spur shredding tendons and ligaments and impinging muscle. My life had devolved to two questions - can I make it through the day and how am I going to make it through the night? Had surgery and PT and months later still having pain - not at the shoulder site but all around. When PT started my strengthening exercises I mentioned where the pain was and they said I had been protecting my shoulder for so long that I was using all the accessory muscles to do it's work and it was straining all of them. My shoulder was very frozen at the time of surgery and I only had 8 degrees of motion in some directions. When I finally started using my arm in a normal manner I would be afraid of injuring it but it actually made it much better. I am now SO much better but remember vividly how horrible it was to think about my pain 24/7. I am surprised I am on speaking terms with my liver and kidneys after all the ibuprofen I took. Narcotics did squat for the pain. All that to say that three months out from surgery I was still in pain and limited in motion but over the next few months I got better and better. I hope you have the same result.

Yes pain gets worst...why it's best to manage it than to try to fight it...take the percocet as prescribed, and yes I get it...morphine is much, much worst. In time pain will reduce and meds will go down in intensity.

Ortho injuries are among the most painful, also cold weather does not help. No it will not be your imagination. I had surgery on both knees at seven, after walking yesterday in the rain, my left knee has been unhelpfull all day and even got a tad swollen...why telling you the tale? Well it's been a few decades, and in the winter at times both hurt...enough where yes I could ask for placard.

Also do your therapy, even if it hurts like shit...

And if anybody accuses you of whining...ignore it.

You and me might not see eye to eye, on this we do. Take care.

yeah, the therapy does sometimes hurt like shit both during and after but I don't mind that pain as much. It's the weird pain that gets to me and the grinding pain. I never knew that pain had so many colors, textures, etc.

I'm still sort of traumatized I think by the accident itself. In short, I had to crawl on my stomach out of my house, up the gravel driveway and and along the dirt road to get help- with a shard of bone sticking out of my shin. That pain was so intense I passed out I ended up with scrapes all over my forehead from that little jaunt. They had me on a morphine and antibiotic drip for the first couple of days I was in the hospital and I was pretty much in bed for over a month. I was in surgery for nearly 4 hours.In a lot of ways I feel lucky though. It was a fall that could have killed me and people have been incredibly nice and helpful. One of my son's best friends fixed up an old wheelchair of his for me, someone else lent me crutches and another person lent me a walker. My doc is part of one of the best state of the art orthopaedic practices in Vermont. They're based right next to the closest hospital from Stowe and they deal with lots and lots of complex leg fractures and they have and amazing PT facility adjacent to the office.

Anyway, I appreciate your good wishes and understanding.

:hugs:

And if the nightmares get too intrusive talk to medical team. Major trauma is a life changing event. It just is.

Especially if you are not sure if it will ever end. I've been dealing with it for 10 years with no end on sight. I have better and worse times. Fearing the worst times to come is a trap. Try to stay in the present and don't project too much. Fear makes pain worse. You will get through it. Stay protected from overdoing. Pace yourself.

always tell people that your therapist told you not to overdo it. If you try to pace yourself, people may tell you to push harder. But if you can say your therapist told you to pace yourself, now you have an authority backing you up!

You're not complaining. Venting is healthy, provided you take something from the vent, and don't stay stuck in a "woe is me" pity party constantly.

And while you don't know me well at all, largely 'cause I spent time modding and not posting on DU, I know that you're a strong person, from what I've seen.

I have lots of chronic ick, and it's really hard not to overdo, especially with my Migraine Disease... but my neck is a biggie, and i know that i have good days and bad days, and if my neck gets flarey, i'm not happy.

I have a wrist injury- right wrist- was rear ended- and torn ligaments, TRCC, and had to have bone scraped lapro. I don't have much cartilage there, so, sometimes, carrying groceries up the stairs can be occasionally painful.

Soft tissue and nerve damage are (IMHO) the worst, as they don't have targeted meds- other than powerful RX meds for the conditions. (notice i didn't say nerve injury)

Sometimes, I want to scream. Or vent.

And I have safe places- both online and off. But I'd like to think that this forum could be a safe place for all of us.

And... well.. DH never understood about severe chronic pain...until he had a severe break- and comes with screws and plates in his leg. We both now joke about feeling the weather changing....

Hugs

Gonna get some today. Google "Tart Cherry Juice". Others say it works well for cronic pain and helps you sleep to boot.

it gets really old. Physically and emotionally old. I think to some extent we get used to it, but quite frankly, it is very tiring.

Though I'm sure most here can attest to, those who've never experienced that kind of pain will too often categorize it as "whining." I worked in hospitals and, of all of the populations I saw in hospitals, I think it was those with chronic pain who got the least understanding & empathy from medical staff. There were always issues around drug use for those who had to rely on opioids to dull pain -- I could hear the antipathy in the voices & approach to the some patients in some medical professionals. And it most certainly affected care and psychological status. Not only were people having to deal with constant, horrific pain but also with too many hostile environments, which of course made the pain worse!

As I've said elsewhere, I have little chronic pain associated with MS and what pain I have, i so far have been able to alleviate pretty easily. (My pain comes from spasms......heat REALLY helps.....as does tiny amounts and infrequent use of medical cannabis!) I recently had surgery to remove a large ovarian tumor (it turned out to be "low-malignant" with zero spread....I got VERY lucky.....OvCa killed Mom) -- so I had the total hysterectomy, etc. I remember Mom taking lots of percocet after her surgery, which I think actually made it worse for her -- it's constipating, which is one of the problems after that surgery and increasing that increases the pain, IMO. I took a grand total of 3 of the 45 percocets prescribed after my surgery. Like you, I hate the way they make me feel. And I didn't want to make the pain worse by making the constipation worse, which is where a large portion of my pain came from. BUT twice it was truly counterproductive not to take the meds! I was in eye-popping pain and, despite being pretty damn good at using behavioral techniques to lessen pain, it just wasn't enough. In both instances, I really didn't do myself any favors by trying to wait it out -- I think the pain just plain got worse than it had to be and I went from in pain to in agony!

My heart truly goes out to those in chronic pain. The only other time I had any true pain was going back to work the day after foot surgery, which was against my doc's advice. Within short order, I was in agony and couldn't focus on anything I was doing! And when I think that people have to put up with that day in and day out, sometimes all over their bodies......OMG, I really do have heartfelt admiration for the degrees to which people are able to keep on keeping on, even when that means just getting out of bed, going to PT and coming home to crawl back into bed! That's a tremendous amount when you're in that kind of pain! It affects every aspect of life -- how can that be a little thing you never "whine" about? Talking and venting is a good thing.

It's funny, my doc has been fine about prescribing for pain and not at all disapproving- thankfully. I'm the one that hates taking the shit. I'm at a place where I'm so afraid that I'll get addicted that I'm only taking it when the pain becomes unbearable. That's usually at night. In fact I haven't taken any percocet during the day for several days now. It's not easy and it may sound weird but I'd rather the pain than getting hooked on that shit.

I'm so glad things went well for you with your hysterectomy. I spoke with a friend of mine today. His 23 year old daughter has ovarian cancer and just got the news yesterday that she's now cancer free.

Anyway, thanks for your understanding and kind thoughts. Hope you are feeling fairly well and that you have a wonderful holiday and a sterling 2012.

cali

I was rip-roaring PISSED when I was hospitalized after the surgery. After doing fine after the surgery.....I apparently was lucid and, according to my bro (who sweetly came to stay at my house and take care of my dogs while I was in the hospital) was raring to go then, bingo, suddenly had two days of delirium when I wasn't even oriented to self!

(Actually, there's a funny story here. On the 3rd day, I was coming out of the delirium and the surgeon came in to check on me. My docs don't know that I check on ALL of their voter registrations! One can do that here -- i always check to see which party my docs are affiliated with. Well, this guy is a Republican. So on the 3rd day, I still couldn't tell him when my birthday is BUT I accurately told him who the president is. And then I said, "And I have bad news for you, doc, I helped get him elected!" So THAT I remembered.....I not only remembered Obama but which Party the doc was affiliated with.!)

Okay, back to the delirium. They called in a neuro consult and this absolute dimwit decided it was due to a benzodiazepine withdrawal! She noted in my chart that I take clonazepam for restless legs. What the total moron didn't bother to do was check how often I take it, which would have taken the extra step of one damn phone call! When I worked in medicine, I did that ROUTINELY! But no, that was too much for too-stupid-to-be-a-neurologist! What she and the rest of the docs failed to note was the one difference between time A and time B was that I FELL! That they documented, but then when this delirium followed, they attributed it to benzo withdrawal! I clearly had a mild TBI (traumatic brain injury) from hitting my head in the fall. (I'd had one previous mild TBI and 25 years of an MS laden brain -- that'd do it!.) My last clonazepam prescription of 30 pills with no refills was from January of 2011 and I still have 8 left.....meaning I had taken all of 22 clonazepam over the course of 10 months at that point! I'm well aware of the dangers of benzo dependency and am thus VERY cautious -- I only take them when the RL becomes truly unbearable (I also get tremors, which the clonazepam also helps....I RARELY take it for tremors.)

So all of that is now in my med record! Arrrrrgggghhhh! I wrote a SCATHING 3 page letter excoriating the neurologist & the docs for their stupidity and made sure I documented for my med record my LACK of benzo usage! But that's the kind of thing that gets in a med record and then docs look at patients askance when they need to prescribe anything potentially addictive. I've seen it happen a million times. So glad you have a doc who works appropriately with you! IMO, it's smart to be very careful with opioid medications -- one does build a dependency, necessitating more and more. Caution is wise!

Sorry for the long response and delay -- it's actually been sitting here for 2 days as I interrupt myself. Poor attention & concentration is one of my MS symptoms and it seems to have been accentuated by the hospital TBI. It's all fun, fun, fun in chronic illness world! At least, that's what ReTHUGS would have people think -- I'm just lazy and should curl up and die, right? Gotta love 'em. Yeah, I was lazy when I worked half-time while getting my Ph.D. in full-time grad school.....all while I had crippling fatigue from MS!

I'm wondering if it might be eased a bit by gabapentin. Last January when I finally got post-herpetic neuralgia diagnosed after having the most excrutiating pain I'd ever experienced in my lifetime, the neurologist put me on gabapentin because it somehow blocks pain from the nerve damage I suffered. Apparently it doesn't work for everyone and I haven't a clue if that would be anything they'd think appropriate for you, but it can't hurt to ask. I've been taking it almost nonstop this year because I've had repeated attacks of herpes zoster which are followed within a week by the damn nerve pain in my leg. It's very frustrating to have some good days and figure it's going to be over and then it's back again. Sometimes the body seems to take forever to recover.

I think that's a reasonable coping mechanism, since there is little we can do about it.

I've got cerebellar MS and have had a severe burning in my legs for 19 years. Some days it seems worse than others, but i'm not sure that isn't just because on those days i'm just not as able to block it out.

I'm surprised at how well i've adapted to the constant pain. I'm always aware of it, but i seldom let it affect me. Just something one learns over time, i guess.

Sorry to hear about this Cali. You and i have been commisserating around here for a long time.

There are some who can "suffer in silence" but most of us need to share what's going on with us with others. Not necessarily for the purpose of complaining or looking for sympathy, but just to get it out, to give it voice, in much the same way we need to share our good news.

So I say, Cali, THANK YOU for sharing with us! For trusting us with that part of yourself that is suffering, and giving us the opportunity to say something like "That's okay, Cali, you're still one of us, we know an understand what you are talking about and we're with you in this".

You've shared with us the expression of your vulnerability and that makes you more real to those of us who read your words share something similar to what you are experiencing. You've given us an opportunity to feel and express our our sense of compassion, and that is a true gift.

Blessings to you, Cali, and all here who suffer with pain or some other condition. We all need each other.

a clear head.

What I can tell you is that if you take that Perc when you first wake up in the morning and before the pain gets bad, it will work better and longer. I've been living with pain for many years and that's been my strategy. Some days are good days and I don't take any more. Some days are not good days and I do take the subsequent doses. A few days are awful and I wake up at night and have to take an extra dose at night.

Untreated pain is fatal because people isolate, get depressed, and commit suicide to end it all.

What you can do as you heal is ask for less heavy drugs or even cut the Percs in half. Right now, though, you would probably be better off taking it before you're ready to chew a hole in the sofa.