a lot of support and caring here, so lean as hard as you need.

Last edited Mon Jun 10, 2024, 05:52 PM - Edit history (1)

I have emphysema and a leaky heart valve,,,,
My Husband does so much for me and I feel terrible about it.
We are in our early 70s and recently moved into Senior Independent Living Apartments,,,,
dang,,,, He has his own back issues,,,,

Things aren't going to get better for us (health-wise). We just have to manage.

Not sure what I thought getting old was, but I know this wasn't it.

Here's to accepting and coping with the present.

He does require help from me and I now do all the driving as well. He too says he feels bad I have to help him. Here is my heartfelt answer to him and likely what your wife feels: I am so happy to have you with me and it gives me great joy to do the things that keep you with me. Your company, smiles and love are all I need.

... can, use it or lose it becomes a reality as we age. Learn something new. I picked up baking bread during the pandemic. I bake at least once a week, and I'm getting good at it. Started feeding the ferals and it makes me get up and walk the property to their areas several times a day. We spay and neuter, and haven't had any kittens in over a year. Feed the birds. Pull weeds for a couple of minutes every time I go outside. Little things pay off better than waiting to do the big ones. I can't walk to the grocery, but I can walk the property, slow but it keeps me going. Don't over do it, but don't under do it, either.

I apologize if I get too rah rah rah. But life is good.

One day at a time is all we can handle. Take it easy

I don't know that your support actually makes me feel better, but I feel a little less alone.

I have the lumbar/sacral stenosis and it sucks, I get injections to keep it at bay but that's not gonna last long.

Please try and find a little joy in each day. even if it's just watching the birds. I have to spend more days than I would like being house-bound and have no stamina when we go places...feeding the birds and critters has helped.

Otherwise, here's a huge HUG! :hugs:

using a second cane, one in each hand and find I feel more stable. Not all the time, but when going from one end of the house to the other end.
If you can afford it, get an extra set of canes and/or extra wheelchair to keep in the car. That would solve a lot of extra loading/unloading and ease your depressed/guilt feeling. I'm sure your wife is glad to drive you - she likely is glad to know you are safely delivered to your destination.
I'm not depressed as I notice so many elders have life so much worse than mine.

I’m 71 and been getting used to living with cervical spine and lumbar spine stenosis issues, and both knees needing knee replacement. Chronic pain from neuropathy is really bad. Can’t stand very long or walk very far without having to sit down again, so rely on my rollator to get around downstairs. I just made my down payment for a stairlift to get up my steps to my bedroom.

Just wanted to say that I know what you mean when you say cripple because I’m living and feeling the life too. You’re not alone.

Had a stair lift and ramps outside. Still had to sell the house as it was too much for my wife to handle - big house, too many stairs.

In an apartment for now. Use a walker to get to the parking garage, wheelchair for distance. Cane in the apt, mostly.

New wrinkle, wife has recurrence of thyroid cancer. Maybe radiation or chemo.

We have to see if I can drive. Otherwise, the world gets that much more difficult.

Do si do, la dee dah, poop in a hat.

Lumbar stenosis, if severe enough, can be indeed very crippling. If I get up and try to walk even just across the room sometimes I can’t make it without having to sit back down again.

I’m 71. I was diagnosed by MRI needing surgery on L3, L4, L5, and S1. It is risky surgery. My neurosurgeon said he might be able to help me but warned he could also hurt me. So with that risk I live much like yourself, with a stairlift to get up and down my 2 story house and a network of rollators to navigate through the house and yard.

I can’t change any of this unless I take a big risk I haven’t been willing to take. The one thing I can still control is my mind and how I accept what is. So I have to deal with it mentally, and the way I do it is to keep thinking about the good things about my life, and to stay busy despite my crippled existence.

Anyway I just wanted to say that I hear you and know what it’s like.

Back to PT. Doing strength and balance exercises daily.

Took a test drive on empty parking lot and it went well.

Cutting down the pain meds.

Anticipating that my wife will need me more, which is acting as motivation.