I'm tired of being human.
It's like how in each Star Trek series, they're always about starfleet, and they're always mostly human. I got really sick and tired of fucking Starfleet. Give me a series about Romulans!
Well right now, why in the world can't I be an octopus? A tree? Or maybe a raccoon. Sometimes, things get too boring. I think my next hobby is either mathematics, learning the guitar, or learning how to computer program. Except I end up with the grandiose thoughts of doing: "Hey, why don't I try doing all three at once and just schedule doing all three into my day!? I could maybe squeeze in exercise and learning how to drive too!" Bullshit, I can barely remember to eat 3 meals a day. When I realize I can't do all that, I end up not doing any of it.
I know better, but it happens once and awhile anyways.
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In my life, I have wanted to be a professional musician (I play the flute), a vet, a MD, a social worker, a scientist. Always changing back and forth. And, I have spent much of my life in school, and now in debt, trying to attain these goals. I have finally stuck with science, since I think my husband would divorce me if I suggested going back to school again.
I have tried, within the past couple of years, to slow my focus and concentrate on becoming good at one thing. I have found that achieving small goals can satisfy my manic episodes. I have decided I want a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. So, I have started taking classes. This, to me, sounds extravagant, but it is something I can through myself into, does not cost a lot of money, and is actually healthy for me.
Maybe if you try one small thing, it will give you the confidence to follow it through. Setting goals is important as long as it does not completely take over the rest of your life. This was a very difficult lesson for me to learn.
