Counting down to fmla. Scared

on June 1st, I'm going to request, with my doctor's help, FMLA. My job is making me miserable and stressed. I'm a supervisor and I'm worried ( I tend to take too much on myself and my SO tells me to worry about myself. I'm worried about my supervisee. However, my SO says that if I had serious non-mental health condition like cancer, I'd have. To take time off, too. And mental health is as serious as physical).

In no way am I saying I consider myself irreplaceable. I just worry about everything and have a very hard time having normal mentation about things. I have moments of fugue my doctor calls disassociation from time to time from anxiety.

So, this will be my third fmla. I'm scared to ask for third time. But I just have to gird my loins and do it. I hope to have some income with STD insurance, then employer-paid LTD insurance.

Taking this dive scares me sometimes. I'm conflicted, I'm worried. I feel like a loser sometimes. I get angry that I suffer from these illnesses. I'm mad at my employer for causing me ptsd That's another post. I'm scared of the unknown. Loss of income. Going to work.

Scared of everything.

Thanks for letting me vent.