He's picking up his ex wife in California (most amicable split, ever. She's still my best friend) and they will head up the coast, together. She lives in Humboldt but her family is in SD. I know she will definitely keep me posted on the way up the coast. If I don't hear from him, HE will hear from me, for sure.

The combo of the multiple family deaths in a short period of time (my sister, mom and aunt in 2015 and now two cousins that I was very close to died within weeks of each other) couple with the extremely toxic work environment I was in ended up getting me diagnosed with PTSD. I no longer have any toxic work triggers so this fear of him dying is the last one.

In the future, could you adopt your former sister-in-law as a sister? My brother never had kids, and his wife is estranged from her only living child. However, they hooked up with my s-i-l's late son's ex girlfriend. (Can you follow that? Kate's son's ex-gf.) They have adopted the lady and her family as their children and grandchildren. The visit them often and go on vacations together. They're very involved in the lady's kids' lives. It's really enriching for them.

Maybe your brother would be willing to text you say, every morning, just to check in?

I've always been a worrier and the past 7 or so years have just fed that problem. I know it isn't really rational but that doesn't stop me from feeling it.

She knows something is wrong. So far it's worked out great. It gives us both comfort knowing we've made to another day.

(due to our family trends and his work requirements) just drove here to MD for in-law family wedding. Was with his wife, daughter and son.

I tried (hard) not to worry, and I suspect they've made it back to Iowa, after leaving here and heading on a lengthy excursion home. I guess I'd have heard, if there were bad news.

Just tell him casually that you'd like to see pictures of his trip. It could help.

I love Ativan, but I limit myself to six pills a year so my doctor doesn't get on me about "It's addictive, yada, yada." Do be careful with it.

I don't blame you about fearing the loss of your last sibling. I only have my brother and sister left in my family, and I can't let myself think about what would happen to me if one of them died. I'd feel as if I'd lost a part of myself. I kid myself that, because I'm the oldest, I get to go first.

That should be proof enough to my APN that I'm not abusing them.

It's just a horrible, nagging fear that won't go away. Losing my younger sister was hard enough. Outliving the 'baby' of the family would be crushing.

I panic when I can't locate one of the kittens!!

emotionally. Trip pics help a bit. And good nights. 😉

This sounds simple, almost too simple, but it works, not at first, but over time. My mother got this advice from a priest who was counseling her. It was a long time ago and she was a devout Catholic. She worried a lot. He told her to offer her fear/concern/worry up to God. To let go of it to God. I know, I know. She told me that she found it gave her some relief. So, when I was going thru a particularly difficult time, I tried it, except I offered it up to the Universe. It does work and over time it works more and more. My mom is long gone to her heaven, and I am thankful she passed on this technique for letting go of stress, even if for just a little while. This letting go and letting the Universe has provided me much comfort over the years. Wishing you peace of mind.

I will give it a try. It is so tiresome to worry. And, most often, a waste of time, energy and emotion.

Sorry to hear of all your losses & the resultant anxiety.

Try to stay busy & make sure he sends pix daily.

At least not for me. But I don't have anxiety, I have depression. (My fiance has anxiety, and so does my mom.)

Anyway, part of my answer has been to attack mental problems with videos.

Here's one that deals more with anxiety than depression - thought you might like it:

I'll check this out!

I've learned to pay really close attention to the degree of my anxiety, when it 'attacks'. Often I'll just go out and busy myself in the gardens, or read a book. Those are my first go-tos. Well, and the kittens.