I'm reminded of how strange it seemed as a child when my father and uncles would visit my grandmother after some time and for hours the talk was always about who died and the first thing they read in the local paper were the obituaries. But those lives now lost were the comfort and the "grounding" for them as the friends we are now losing were once as well.

I'm glad you have your kitties. Life offers great pleasure (and they are but one example) but is tempered by the pain of loss. I hope Arthur provides some happy antics today.

His big brothers waited until I woke up, sneaking up onto the bed probably hoping I hadn't noticed their absence. But all gave me snuggles, this morining.

So glad you have your sweet boys!

So sorry you have suffered another loss.

And every year, it would be a same conversation. Big hug, how are you.... then coffee.

At the kitchen table....


"Pa, remember, ...., you worked with him at ....... site?' He was a mason and had many job sites and co-workers.

Grandpa: (Italian immigrant). "Yeah."

Mom: " Well, he died in June. Heart attack."

Grandpa: "Well, he live'a too damn long, anyway."

Mom: "And you remember Mom's friend, ........?"


Rinse and repeat for the year's obituary.

Seems, they all lived'a too damn long, anyway.



40 years later, We still laugh about that.

and all but chained to their upholstered living room chairs while my diminutive very elderly grandmother (and matriarch) "held court"... was fascinating. Not to mention all the coffee they were drinking, which only added to the pain of those assembled. Every once in a while, one uncle, in particular, knowing his mother's hearing was limited would send a wry sardonic comment to those in earshot. As a teen, considerably bored by all this, I lived for those.

Almost half are my age or younger.
My angel GF and RN has saved my life twice in the last couple of years.

Hope you feel better soon.

How true. My mom was stricken with Parkinsons and lewy body dementia in the last few years. I was taking care of her at her home every other week for months. I had planned on buying a C7 or C8 Corvette, Porsche, something a bit exotic in 5-6 years.

One morning I took her meds up to her in bed and she asked, "does this place have a bathroom?" It was her house. Hell, it was her mothers house before that! And she had been working and driving less than two years prior to this conversation. As you said, I was "flattened". And I decided on the spot, fuck 5 or 6 years! Ended up buying a Lotus 2-3 months later.

Live for now, man. Live for now.

We depend on seeing you. Stay with us.

still with us, I guess. Especially the ones that depend on us every day and give back their love, antics and make us smile. Take good care and again, my condolences. The Queen's passing makes it even harder. "Infectious smile" Harry said.
Take care Siwsan

My goal going forward is to be a better person. I'm very sorry for your loss.

Last edited Wed Sep 14, 2022, 11:30 AM - Edit history (1)

of friends and relatives. If it's any consolation, you are not alone.

My mother came from a very large extended family. She outlived all of them, despite being born as a 27 week preemie not expected to live. At 90, when she was in hospice after kidney failure, she asked me if her one remaining cousin was still alive. He was, but passed away just a couple days before she did.

In 2020, the last of my 3 siblings died of covid, leaving me the sole survivor of my immediate family. My father had 8 siblings. Last Thanksgiving, his last surviving one, who was also my godfather, passed away from covid.

I was married twice. Both former husbands are deceased.

My high school graduation class (1967) has a website that keeps track of all 580 of us as best as possible, plus previous and later classes. I discovered there that my best friend from junior high passed away 10 years ago. The boy that I had a huge crush on in junior high passed away 5 years ago. Same with another guy that I dated in high school. Several others that I knew as casual acquaintances are deceased. Most of those people died in their 60s. A few a little earlier.

Even the schools that I went to are "deceased." The junior high became a middle school but now is empty, dilapidated, and condemned for demolition. The high school closed a few years ago. My grade school closed and the property is being sold to a developer to build an apartment complex. So I can't even visit those old places to reminisce.

I just keep reminding myself that this is the nature of things. As we age, the younger generations move up into stages of life that are now memories for us, as happened with our parent's generation as we grew. Or, as Sonny and Cher put it, the beat goes on.

forward.

Sending hugs and love. Take care.

We are of the nature to die. We cannot escape death. We cannot know the day or the hour of our death, and it will surely come. Meanwhile live every day with a kind and loving heart and mind towards all sentient beings everywhere. Don't cultivate anger, greed, and hatred. Cultivate love and peace.

This post could have been written by me!!! I have lost a son, 2 sisters, a nephew and 3 brothers and one of my best friends and have loved the Queen since I was 15. We must carry on but it is hard!!

Heck, I have a wound on my leg that will not go away. Will it kill me? Who knows? My body is not what it was, and it won't be that ever again. What do we do? As stated a few times, I guess we sally forth and seize the day regardless of having nothing to seize. I agree that it does seem to come off as a bit of tilting at windmills but being positive is a better mindset than being negative. (Being indifferent is another choice, but I don't recommend it either, as it is probably eating me alive... so to speak.) Regardless, know there are people here who can relate. At least you can talk whenever you need to. and, accept a few big virtual hugs because we need to be more connected and aware of each other in a tactile way.