Mental Health Support

kozar

(2,792 posts) Thu Dec 22, 2022, 02:38 PM Dec 2022

I made a post in general, and deleted it

Honestly, I should have posted it here,
My Mother, called me yesterday, I was on phone with Medicaid about issues with LilBit, I called her back when I got done.
A ring and a click. Hmm So I send her an email, is your phone ok? Are you ok?

And she says”why didn’t you just walk away all those years ago (19) and none of us would have to know her?(LilBit)

I said “Mom! Please,” and she hung up”

I’m sorry, I love LilBit. Knew my brothers didn’t, but my Mother. Right before Christmas.

I’m drinking, LilBit is fine. I hate Christmas. I have one slinky to give her. I pray she knows the chaos I deal with that I will never allow her here.
The facade I do,because,

I’ll walk away from my Mother, before her.
This is gonna sound crude. I know.
koz

11 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

I made a post in general, and deleted it (Original Post) kozar Dec 2022 OP

Dear koz :hug: :grouphug: elleng Dec 2022 #1

I don't know the story, but prayers for you. Joinfortmill Dec 2022 #2

This message was self-deleted by its author Tetrachloride Dec 2022 #3

This message was self-deleted by its author kozar Dec 2022 #4

This message was self-deleted by its author kozar Dec 2022 #5

There are times when I have nothing constructive to say. 3Hotdogs Dec 2022 #6

I'm angry and sad on your behalf IbogaProject Dec 2022 #7

Big hugs for you, and I admire all you do for your daughter. Your mom sounds very critical, Ziggysmom Dec 2022 #8

Sometimes we have to emotionally divorce those closest to us for a while.... KY_EnviroGuy Dec 2022 #9

To ziggy and my enviro, kozar Dec 2022 #10

I have a handicapped daughter. My sister in law believes I 'made it happen' somehow. demigoddess Jan 2023 #11

elleng

(135,777 posts)

1. Dear koz :hug: :grouphug:

Reply to kozar (Original post)

Thu Dec 22, 2022, 02:40 PM

Dec 2022

Joinfortmill

(16,330 posts)

2. I don't know the story, but prayers for you.

Reply to kozar (Original post)

Thu Dec 22, 2022, 03:14 PM

Dec 2022

Response to kozar (Original post)

Tetrachloride This message was self-deleted by its author.

Response to Tetrachloride (Reply #3)

kozar This message was self-deleted by its author.

Response to kozar (Original post)

kozar This message was self-deleted by its author.

3Hotdogs

(13,343 posts)

6. There are times when I have nothing constructive to say.

Reply to kozar (Original post)

Thu Dec 22, 2022, 04:06 PM

Dec 2022

I just hope '23 turns out better for you.

IbogaProject

(3,582 posts)

7. I'm angry and sad on your behalf

Reply to kozar (Original post)

Thu Dec 22, 2022, 07:53 PM

Dec 2022

For those that don't know, Kozar is a recent Widower with a special needs daughter. He is dealing with all the issues anyone with health issues or serious disability have to endure here in the supposedly greatest country. Kozar needed emotional support from that call not some hairbrained hate that he should have abandoned his own daughter and wife. Whew Kozar, have a virtual hug. Please take care.

Ziggysmom

(3,556 posts)

8. Big hugs for you, and I admire all you do for your daughter. Your mom sounds very critical,

Reply to kozar (Original post)

Fri Dec 23, 2022, 06:06 AM

Dec 2022

and that is not her right, saying things like that. She should be supporting you and not tearing you down. My own mother got angrier and more hateful as she aged, so I know a little about the pain she caused you. Sometimes people don't realize the pain that mere words can inflict.

Please know you have supportive friends here who send you only love and caring words.

Take Care and more hugs to you and LilBit.

KY_EnviroGuy

(14,595 posts)

9. Sometimes we have to emotionally divorce those closest to us for a while....

Reply to kozar (Original post)

Sun Dec 25, 2022, 01:19 AM

Dec 2022

just to function and stay sane. I see it as putting them on a shelf in the closet for recovery later but it's never easy, especially when I'm pissed off or hurt.

Much like I had to put all religion and some old friends on the shelf while I was early in alcoholism recovery so I could keep the focus on me. They can be picked back up later when and if it's safe to do so.

Happy holidays to you and LilBit from Kentucky!

kozar

(2,792 posts)

10. To ziggy and my enviro,

Reply to kozar (Original post)

Sun Dec 25, 2022, 04:41 AM

Dec 2022

Same reply to both. Dad passed on Vets day. She is grieving. And realizing what LilBit and I went through.
And she is running to my brothers,who ignored LilBit. it is her right to grieve how she needs to.
Yes , she is being mean right now, but I know what it’s like to lose a spouse. That’s I posted here, she would never read this site.

Merry Christmas from KozandLilBit

demigoddess

(6,673 posts)

11. I have a handicapped daughter. My sister in law believes I 'made it happen' somehow.

Reply to kozar (Original post)

Thu Jan 5, 2023, 03:43 PM

Jan 2023

because the people in her family are so superior to other humans. She cannot believe that my genes are as good as hers. Therefore it must be my fault. I hardly speak to her, though my husband is quite close to her.
Ps my IQ is probably as high or higher than hers. Some people are crazy about handicapped kids. Fortunately we live in an area that accepts mentally handicapped children really well.

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