Think it through. Don't quit your job until you find another one that is more suited to you. Work through your issues instead of avoiding them. That kind of thing.

you were asking if your perception is f'ed up, and in this case it sounds like it might be. you can't possibly be as bad at your job as you think you are. there are too many people out there waiting to take your job if you suck.
so, i got a feeling that you don't suck, at all.

that doesn't mean you have to love it, but if you hate it because you think you suck at it, and you don't, then how do you like it?

definitely hold on until you have some professional help, and maybe some meds. something here doesn't add up, and i suspect your self loathing is the cause.

And I'm sorry that I keep doing it here, I apologize to you as forum host and if you want me to stop, please just tell me. I think that it is more than a little messed up for me to keep doing this.

completely wrong. that is what we are here for. the worst that can happen is that no one reads it.

I don't think Denninmi understands that he has rights...like the right to breathe, for example.

You're not even close to being inappropriate for this forum, Denninmi.

Meaning, I think, that you never think that you are good enough. So maybe you are blowing this whole "terrible employee" thing out of proportion due to low self esteem and the fact that you don't want to work there anymore.

I slack off a little sometimes at work. Everybody does if they can get away with it. It doesn't make you a bad employee if you are still getting things done. I get my work done every day. It sounds like your boss is truly grateful for the job you do. Take his word for it.

and everyone gets mistakes made on them, like your story.

I've talked a lot about how badly I've been hurt by people in my time and it's true. I've also hurt some people and I know of a couple that might spit in my face to this day for stuff that happened 20 years ago. That's a whole lot of hurt right there.

We all screw up from time to time. Some worse than others. Most people are just doing the best they can with what they have to work with- emotionally, intellectually, monetarily. If you are ignorant about how to raise a kid the right way, you might make some pretty bad mistakes. But chances are that's how you were raised as well.

Yeah, I think it's true: probably 90% of us are just doing the best we can with what we have. I think with a good understanding of that we can see a way to forgiveness. Forgiveness of others and ourselves as well.