Call your brother and see if he wants to meet you for lunch. Be bright, cheerful and funny. IOW never mention your sister other than wishing her the best. That will drive her crazy.

sounds like a good idea. Good luck.

Mine wants nothing to do with me over a sibling, our brother, whom she took in in 2016 despite my husband's warning NOT to do so after his months long hospitalization. Long story short, in 2017 when I last saw her, she blamed us for not having more control over him while he was in her care because she and her middle daughter were stealing his pain meds to feed their addictions to them. She has not spoken to me since 2017, nor answering my letters.

She did respond in early 2019 saying that she was not interested in having a relationship with me due to that matter of our brother. Now I hear through another source he is gravely ill with Pancreatic cancer. Dysfunction runs in families. Mine was not immune.

Hugs to you. You are not alone. Being "Woke" is just an excuse for more underlying issues.

but it sounds as if you have a good attitude. Also sounds like you have a good cousin. Wishing you the best.

If your brother is a decent human and treats you well, you could reach out to him. If he is more like your sister, count yourself doubly lucky and stick to friends and other family that treats you well like you deserve 💕💗💗💗.

Bio-family is or can be difficult … take care of you

...it sounds like your sister is jealous, extremely manipulative, and yeah, probably a narcissist. I had a similar relationship with my sister, who is dead now. For years, after I decided I didn't have to take her abuse anymore, we fought like the Israelis and Palestinians. I mostly tried to avoid her. About a year or so before she died she made me promise that if anything ever happened to her and she died, that I wouldn't come to her funeral. I guess she was trying to make me feel guilty. Instead I told her that would not be a problem. Inside I thought, "Halle-effin-lullah!" It must sound strange to people who have better relationships with their siblings, but I do not miss her one iota. Healthy people don't miss their abusers, yanno?

Anyway, good for you that you can walk away from the relationship. I promise you, your life will be easier and more peaceful--just be careful you don't attract similar relationships to replace the familiar. That can happen.

Take care.

On my sister's 40th birthday our parents spent the dinner arguing over who's contraceptive failed. Good gravy. Seems like you've got the right attitude to take care of yourself.

end up being poisoned. I know from experience with my own "family".

we were not family even though we are all liberals.

Sure, I love them having known them my entire life, but different ages, interests, hobbies, lifestyles..

I love my mother. But, I don't like her. And, I am pretty sure the feeling is mutual. As stated, if it were not for the familial connection, I would not give most of my family the time of day. And understand... this is their choice. All they had to do is be civil and non-judgemental. Alas, that proved to be beyond their abilities.

but the problem is that they were so far out there, nobody ever really believes any of the stories.

It sounds like you've hit the nail on the head, your sister has strong narcissistic tendencies if she's not the full blown personality disorder. Next time this happens (and it will, you know it will), just say "I didn't write that, tell (whosis) to delete the post." The drop kick is the most satisfying strategy.

Your sister has a hard life pretending she's an ideal person from an ideal family and should be admired for that. It must be absolutely exhausting. Don't worry, you'll be back, she needs the admiration for a united and happy family.

In the meantime, come sit by me and listen to some of my stories. You'll be entertained even if you don't believe them.

you make a good decision "not engaging her" - yes indeed