If your mom ruined it then its on your mom. Now that you know she cant be trusted to keep something like that a secret then its on you next time if you tell her. You did a good thing, take responsibility for that. Mom did a bad thing, don't take responsibility for that. Be happy you did a good thing.
Eko.

they wonder why no one is there for them, What is really hard is they went to a Holocaust denier's funeral. He and his family used to live next to my family. They sent flowers and a card to the two adult children. My husband was treated like shit when his parents died.And he does everything for them.

But mine was pretty bad also. Some people are like that. I think that's the best thing I can say about that. It hurt me bad for so long. Now I just take responsibility for what I do, good and bad. I don't let other peoples actions including my family affect my emotions. What other people do is what they do, it's what I do that counts for me. I still love my family tons, but I figured out a while ago that they like to use my caring to control me. They would manipulate my emotions to get what they wanted or to hurt me. Like I said some people are like that. As far as my emotions now they are mine and I protect them like the treasure they are. Cant say it's the way but it is a way.
Eko.

p.s. Sorry they treat you that way and I hope things get better for you. Prob should have led with that. But I will leave you with the best thing I think I can say.
Keep on Keeponing.

would blow my head off, called by my psychotic brother that I was a pimple face whore., black eyes, missing teeth-you get the jest. I feel for my sister who endured much of the same, I lef she didn't.t

And I'm glad you left. I think Deuxcents said it well when they said put a little bit more of all that love you have in your basket.
Added, and to back off slowly.

That is all that matters. Hopefully, your sister would think so too.
You’re not responsible for other people’s lack of respect. That’s all on your mom.

Hugs.

Friday. We only found out about it today. Mother was upset that I told SIL.My sister continues to work as a nurses aid at a nursing home. I advised her to wear a mask as her system is compromised. Told do you know what it's like to wear a mask. Also advised my sister to get a counselor that would explain everything to here-one who is trained and can help. She tells my mother, mother calls me up and calls me every name in the book--who best to help their child but the mother bullshit.

My siblings would confide serious and deeply personal things to my mother, only to have her tell the other children. I warned them. They didn't learn. I know things about them that I NEVER wanted to know and I'm sure they didn't want me to know.

As others have said. You own what you did, and that was kindness. Don't take involuntarily ownership of other people's issues and bad traits.

All the best to you.
Big hug.

Maybe it’s time to back off slowly from all the drama and put a little bit more of all that love you have in your basket. 🌺