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no_hypocrisy

(48,796 posts)
Fri Aug 11, 2023, 08:37 AM Aug 2023

OMG, my epiphany is hitting me like a falling brick wall.

Narcissistic Siblings



For five weeks (today), I have been incrementally understanding the trauma of my sister persecuting me and continues to do so.

And I accept (partially) the blame for allowing her to do this.

I didn't realize how much of my bubbling anger was due to her resentment and anger at me.

I have cut off all contact with her.

This is likely the second most courageous thing I've done in my life.
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OMG, my epiphany is hitting me like a falling brick wall. (Original Post) no_hypocrisy Aug 2023 OP
haven't watched this yet,,,, but,,,, KarenS Aug 2023 #1
I have slow realizations too. Tetrachloride Aug 2023 #2
Huge step in the right direction. MOMFUDSKI Aug 2023 #3
I had a narcissistic co-worker who tormented me for about 9 years Siwsan Aug 2023 #4
Cut off narc sis 10 yrs ago, one of the best decisions in my life alittlelark Aug 2023 #5
My only living blood relative, my brother. We haven't spoken in four years. LakeArenal Aug 2023 #6
Please forgive my bluntness here. OldBaldy1701E Aug 2023 #13
That's what I said. Thanks OB!! LakeArenal Aug 2023 #14
I had that epiphany about 17 years ago... virgdem Aug 2023 #7
Dr. Ramani is AMAZING. Dealing with narcissists does take tremendous courage. Scrivener7 Aug 2023 #8
Disowning my/our father. no_hypocrisy Aug 2023 #9
Yeah. For me it was my mother. I feel for you. But you go! Be happy! Scrivener7 Aug 2023 #10
I'm exhausted for the 62 years I put up with this nonsense, no_hypocrisy Aug 2023 #11
Mine too! A user and manipulator all the way! (n/t) OldBaldy1701E Aug 2023 #15
Sending hugs Tree-Hugger Aug 2023 #12

KarenS

(4,634 posts)
1. haven't watched this yet,,,, but,,,,
Fri Aug 11, 2023, 08:42 AM
Aug 2023

I get what you're doing for yourself and why,,,, There are similar feelings and circumstances in my family,,,,

Sending ((hugs)) and strength.

Tetrachloride

(8,448 posts)
2. I have slow realizations too.
Fri Aug 11, 2023, 08:43 AM
Aug 2023

I usually recognize the pattern and quietly depart the situation or call a friend or watch TV

Siwsan

(27,287 posts)
4. I had a narcissistic co-worker who tormented me for about 9 years
Fri Aug 11, 2023, 09:01 AM
Aug 2023

She was in an ongoing litigation issue with the company so the ONLY thing they could do was 'talk' to her.

The worst part was she ramped things up when I was already going through hell with my mom and sister dying and having to look after my 98 year old aunt.

I retired 3 years early to get away from her.

The company I worked for was 'absorbed' by another so any protection she had likely disappeared. I have no idea what happened to her.

I can't imagine having to go through that kind of thing from a sibling.

alittlelark

(18,912 posts)
5. Cut off narc sis 10 yrs ago, one of the best decisions in my life
Fri Aug 11, 2023, 09:44 AM
Aug 2023

She STILL tries sh*t with family and thru flying monkeys - but it is not working very well anymore.

LakeArenal

(29,804 posts)
6. My only living blood relative, my brother. We haven't spoken in four years.
Fri Aug 11, 2023, 10:41 AM
Aug 2023

Spent our young lives pretty much using every Indian burn, bowling ball, fish hook, boogies and wiping boogers on my.

My whole life, I was told, that’s what brothers do, you are such a victim, just ignore him.

A few years ago, I called him out. Asked people we had dinner with if their brother did such things. No no no were the answers.

When we moved to Costa Rica the last thing he said was, “You won’t last. You don’t have the fortitude.” That was it. I haven’t spoken to him since.

NOW… that I’m FINALLY over it…. People say…”Give him one more chance”.

Nope nope nope.

virgdem

(2,206 posts)
7. I had that epiphany about 17 years ago...
Fri Aug 11, 2023, 11:24 AM
Aug 2023

I came to the realization that my narco brother had been verbally abusing me all my life and using me as a verbal punching bag. I finally cut him off for good after my father's funeral in 2014.

I truly understand what you are going through and you are courageous for taking control of your life and mental and emotional well-being.

Scrivener7

(52,745 posts)
8. Dr. Ramani is AMAZING. Dealing with narcissists does take tremendous courage.
Sat Aug 12, 2023, 06:07 AM
Aug 2023

It is SO hard. But it is the only way to get the insanity out of our lives.

The cutting off contact is not the end, though. I needed to work on forgiving myself for all the wasted years and energy I spent trying to make a workable relationship with the narcissist. I think that is important to do.

I wish you peace and joy and love as you go forward with this.

This is pretty damn courageous. What was the first most courageous thing?

no_hypocrisy

(48,796 posts)
9. Disowning my/our father.
Sat Aug 12, 2023, 06:13 AM
Aug 2023

Another narcissist.

Cruel. Made me a target.

You know the Trump statement of "If you go after me, I'll come after you?" That was my father.

no_hypocrisy

(48,796 posts)
11. I'm exhausted for the 62 years I put up with this nonsense,
Sat Aug 12, 2023, 07:11 AM
Aug 2023

without knowing my sister was on a mission.

Having a family was an illusion.

Tree-Hugger

(3,379 posts)
12. Sending hugs
Mon Aug 14, 2023, 01:58 PM
Aug 2023

Good on you for cutting her out of your life. I wish you a ton of healing and peace.

I'm in my 40's. My narc brother is in his 50's and has abused me for my entire life. I was always aware of it, but tried so hard to fix things, to be good enough, to make it work. Fast forward to now when both parents are dead (within a year of each other since 2020) and the abuse exploded to levels I didn't quite expect. I knew he was capable of it - I just naively thought our parents dying would make him realize that we literally only have one another. Long story short, I'm in intensive therapy and case management, having been diagnosed with PTSD. He's a very large part of that diagnosis. I've had to unpack so much shit and we're just at the tip of the iceberg - and iceberg that is way worse than I ever realized. Unpacking it all is a massive mindfuck.

I never want to see or hear from him again.

Thank you for sharing this video.

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