Mental Health Support
Related: About this forumThe useful idiot again. this is long.
Last edited Sun Aug 27, 2023, 08:22 PM - Edit history (1)
In July, I received a call from my mother(have been trying to go little contact) that my sister had cancer in her uterus. colon and pancreas. I was heartbroken and went further into depression. Since the four people in my family's house do not drive to Pittsburgh. My husband and myself took turns driving ten miles into a different county back past our house and into 12 miles into UPMC Magee in Pittsburgh. My sister had a scope and she wanted me there. We got up at 4 inthe morning to make the the procedure at 7. the night before my mother calls and screams at me that she found out I had the same procedure and didn't tell her. that was not the truth, I did. but no one came, called or sent me a card. We go to the recovery room, as my sister wants me there. She was nasty to the nurse. When the nurse brought ginger ale and cookies post procedure. I opened the can and gave it to my sister, she threw it at me. I opened the cookies and placed it in her mouth and she spit it out at me. Nurse came in and told my sister she could not be discharged until she urinated. Mother said she needs coffee. It was 12 and I was thirsty and wanted something to snack on and my husband was in the waiting room. So we went to the cafeteria. We were gone for 15minutes. When we came in the waiting room, the receptionist said my sister and mother were angry that we were not there. Sister urinated while we were gone and the wheelchair was waiting. All the way home they were yelling at my husband and me. We got them home after an hour and a half of listening to this shit. I sent a card and balloons, candy and a teddy bear to my sister. No call either were received. Mother calls nursing home where sister works. She tells them the cancer has spread throughout my sisters body. they collect 1,000 for her. I was there in recovery, when the doctor said it was not as bad as they thought. Mother calls me up and says with the scope my sister will take 6 weeks off. When I had it it was 4 days. My mother has colon cancer. Did you have a colonoscopy? Mom, I have colon cancer. Me- How do you know? Mom =I just do. Two days later, I get a call at call the my sister has a blood clot. Get up and take them to the hospital. No discharge papers . Did they even see anyone? I starting to see that something is not right. On August 16 I take my sister to UPMC Magee in Pittsburgh. for a hysterectomy The doctor came in and said it was polyps. Was there for 12 hours. No thanks. No thing. I don't want paid. I would like someone to say thank you.In the meantime , I found out that my husband does have colon cancer, I had a mammogram which is abnormal and have to get another and a CAT. and nerve test with probs and electricity on my legs and spine(70) I counted.Now I have to see a neurologist as it was abnormal. I thought everything was fine. Get a call Sunday morning, sister wants picked up. She is to be discharged at 1, We need to get a rubber sheet and diapers at the store and get her by 1. I asked my sister about the phone and tv. I went to pay for them. As I did the nurses said my sister did not want to do the therapy and was not to be discharged until Monday.We drive her home. then the Drama Queen comes out. My mother calls me a few days before and tells me that thee house is polluted with flies. they have 20 cats and a dog and do not change the boxes or puppy pads. It is in the carpet. She calls and says I have meatloaf I made, do you and Rich want to eat some. I say I am not hungry. She starts screaming at us for not eating her frickin meatloaf. Again, no thanks. brother has wheelchair for sister, no thanks from her either. the house reeks. I sent a card. She got it. I am exhausted. Oh yes, results from hysterectomy came back-no cancer, no radiation,no chemo. In the end, it was a kind of a farce. It would have been nice if we had a received a thank you card from my sister and mom. but who am I fooling. My husband's parents died and he received no card, no call, no flowers. Same with my operations and his operations. Follow up. After I posted this, I received a call from my mother asking if my husband would like to make $50 dollars and take them down to UPMC on Thusday. He has an appointment with the cardiologist. I was told to have him cancel it. when I said no, she went into a rage, called me a selfish _itch and started going on about family. I said don't go there and hung up. I know I will pay for that.
multigraincracker
(34,077 posts)Lots of drama.
debm55
(36,083 posts)for the phone and TV they told me that my sister was not a nice person. I had 2 years of nursing. a BS in Art Ed and El Ed , a MS in Special ED and two classes away from my PhD in Art Therapy. But I will always be the Pimple Faced Whore to them. Nice talk from your family. And physically, sexually, and mentally abused. But we must close the windows so the neighbors don't hear Debbie screaming as she gets beat up. What a life.
hedda_foil
(16,502 posts)Your mother is a narcissist. Sis sounds like one too. Cut them out of your life. Get therapy. P!ease.
ShazzieB
(18,670 posts)What you are describing sounds highly toxic and unhealthy, and you are NOT required to put up with it. Cutting off contact may nor be an easy decision, but sometimes it's the best and most healthy choice.
Here are some links on the subject that maybe of help:
https://www.verywellfamily.com/cutting-ties-with-family-4781962
https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/is-it-okay-to-cut-off-toxic-family
https://psychcentral.com/blog/imperfect/2019/10/its-okay-to-cut-ties-with-toxic-family-members
https://www.self.com/story/cutting-off-toxic-family-member
Grey
(1,581 posts)I would have to think long and hard about this, it is abuse and you shouldn't have to put up with this kind of treatment.
LoisB
(8,666 posts)LakeArenal
(29,804 posts)Lose hundreds of ugly pounds and quit. Just quit. Change phone number.
I cut the drama from my life four years ago. After about a year, you will realize how much of your life has been wasted on people you really dont love anymore and they obviously dont love you.
debm55
(36,083 posts)doctor wanted her. Mother asked if I would like to earn $50 dollars picking them up and taking them to Pittsburgh and back to their home in the next county . I said husband had a doctors appointment.with the cardiologist My mother said to cancel the appointment. When I said no, Diane can use the $1000 dollars that was collected for her-mother goes into a rage about family. doing for each other. and called me a selfish itch. I said stop it and hung up. I hope I did the right thing.