Genetics are great aren't they?

I am glad that she had the presence of mind to realize she needed help and it is good that she has the support of her family.

I can empathize with the difficulty of trying to guide your kids and at the same time deal with your own issues. For me, I have been so consumed by my daughters bp that I often forget to take care of myself.

I am probably not much help to anyone now due to my own issues. So the best I can say is that I will keep you and yours in my thoughts and hope that there will be peaceful days in the future.



Tracy

my best to the kiddo and you

while my brother was serious enough that he has always needed some form of professional help. The rest of us can recognize the effects in ourselves and take actions to make it so that we can function in our lives. We are usually coached by older members of the family so we are not actually doing it alone. Bi-polar has varying degrees of seriousness. My brother is very serious while one of my grandchildren shows signs of anxiety only. We dealt with that by recognizing how it was effecting her life and giving her pointers on heading it off as soon as she started reacting. Another has temper tantrums even as an adult. He manages his with a certain disputed medication that we would all like to see legalized.

What I am trying to say is that each of us must find our own level of needs and find ways to handle the disease so that our lives can be as normal as possible. Everyone does not have to totally break down like my darling brother has.

I'm wondering which one your daughter is in, I think you recall the one my daughter attended
headquartered on Wabash near the Art Institute, make sure your daughter signs off on a
medical release, so that if there is a crisis in the future, the student health center
can discuss her with you. Smartest thing I ever did, when we enrolled.

I later found that drugs and alcohol were RAMPANT in the dorms-
State Street in particular.

The school seemed to look the other way, for the most part until a student
got into serious trouble and then they recommended a leave.

Just be sure that your daughter has signed off on letting any doctor she
sees discuss what is going on.

I'm SO glad I did that with my daughter- and to this day, she
is fine with my being involved in her treatment.

I don't really want my daughter going back to Chicago, scholarship or not.
Her life in the dorm is what escalated her illness, of that I have no doubt,
and no one seemed to be paying attention, with the exception of a few teachers,
until it had reached a crisis.

Love to You Mo,
BHN

but your view of dorm life is mine as well- no place for a vulnerable kid.

we just got back from our first visit to the therapist. she seems to see this all as my fault. i understand, as i have been depressed and know what a fun house mirror it is.
she lets me be involved, as long as i don't tell her what to do. sigh.

Don't beat yourself up over that one.
Depression is nobody's fault- it just is.

Do you like the therapist? Does your daughter?
As far as the dorms go, might as well hand her a loaded gun.

I sent an ambitious, bright and extremely talented young woman
to Chicago. Three years later I spent 10,000 dollars in doctors bills trying to get her back
to some former version of herself.

Remind her she is very fortunate to BE in school, so many
want to go and never get the opportunity and tell her you will set aside
a little money, that would go to paying for the dorm, for later-
Maybe bargain with her on that like this:
Show us two years of academic success and some willingness
to work part time, and we'll discuss helping pay for an apartment for you later.

Might work, I am still figuring it out with my daughter.

(((((Hugs)))))
BHN

not really sure why she is dragging my through her therapy, but seems to think that all would be well without evil ogre mom. although she loves me to death every other day. my head is spinning.

not.
she messed up the time, so all that stomach ache for no therapy.ended up bumped until the 16th. which means this kid got out of hospital thanksgiving and has had no therapy since, and wont for 2 more weeks. they set her up in a day program which she decided she didn't like, and blew off.
she saw an ssi shrink who told her she was probably bipolar. now, this should reinforce my insistence that her meds are not right, but nnoooooo. she is just either drugged out, bottomed out or bright and cheery, making big plans and doing stuff she doesn't know how to do.
it could be bp, but it could be meds. she is taking trazedone for sleep and it made me flat out manic when i took it for fibro.
this stuff is just so long and drawn out. jesus. it's like fighting cancer.

It sounds like a recipe for failure for the therapy but, what do I know. Yikes.

Like this: "Take some time off and get yourself together Hunter so we don't have to expel you."

It took me nine years to get my Bachelors degree.

The dean told me, "I think you should go on to graduate school, BUT NOT HERE."

He didn't even let me enroll in the two additional classes I needed to complete my double major.

I guess he was pretty sick of me.

I was mostly harmless, rarely a danger to myself and others, and a late night amusement for the campus and local police; a pleasant diversion from the usual crap they had to put up with.

I got some really swell genes in my family...

Best wishes to you and your daughter!

she is working on getting back in for spring, but i can tell you she is not ready. nothing has changed AT ALL. if anything right now it is worse. she just wants to get away from me, and honestly that is a little mutual at this point. but no way is she in any shape to get through one college class, let alone a full load.
this time she will likely stick it out past the point where we would get our money back, and she will screw her gpa and our wallet.
sigh.

hope you are rebounding from the holidays.

fun, fun.

When we got back from our honeymoon in November, my wife and I were in for a shock. One of Jen's aunts had been house sitting for us and had taken some liberties with our place with the help of Jen's parents. The place was pretty messy, but most of it was from all of the wedding gifts that we had scattered around. We did not have time to store everything before we left. But Jen's aunt did have a clean kitchen, bathroom, and a clean bed to sleep in.

Not only did they tidy up the place, but they also re-arranged our bedroom and decided to give some of Jen's clothes to the Goodwill. And the tidying that they did wasn't really all that helpful. I had spent a couple of days getting a room organized not long before we were married. They simply grabbed all of our wedding gifts and literally piled them up in that room. It looks as if they just threw them in there.

Well, the shit hit the fan. Jen was very angry at her aunt and parents and told them about it. They didn't understand. They thought that they had done this big favor for us and thought Jen was being an ungrateful little bitch. Then I got mad at them and suddenly here we all are all mad at each other. Emotions were in turmoil and feelings were hurt. According to Jen there had never been a time like this in her life when she and her folks were this at odds with each other. She cried and cried.

But after a few days we began to talk to each other again. We calmly explained our side and they theirs. Then we went to a family get-together with my in-laws. Things were a little tense but we were all civil. Then we went out to dinner with Jen's parents and had a good time. And then things were back to normal.

This all started with a pissed off e-mail from Jen to her mother and snowballed from there. I think something like this had to happen between Jen and her folks sooner or later. They had treated her like a child for all of her life even though she is 40 now. That break had to happen.

I'm not saying that the above is descriptive of what you are going through with your daughter. The point is that we had a big fight, but with a little time our love for each other won the day. You and your daughter love each other. Maybe a little time will heal the wounds that are currently being created.

one thing i do have faith in is that this kid loves me. she is pissed right now. she is having a bad time right now. frankly i think she is on some bad meds right now.
but we will work it through. i am able to stand back a little and am not really getting my feelings too hurt. she is not thinking straight, and she does really hate me. she will be fine. finer.

as well as possible. I'm glad there's a good support system in place for her, and I hope it gets even better when she gets SSI.

most of the time she is my old baby girl. yesterday was just a normal day of taking her to the doctor (gyno) discussing her care, sharing her puppy, hugs and kisses. today will likely be the same as she is trying to get in to see her pcp.
the whiplash is really depressing me. i never know who is going to come out that bedroom door in the morning. she is trying to get back in school. although i have mixed emotions about that re her ability to succeed, i just need some space back.
i am stuck in the muck. blech.

I am 30 years old and have been dx since I was a teenager with sever mental illness, including BP and BPD. When I was still a teen my parents chose my therapist for me, my dad kept looking until he found someone who wouldn't put up with my crap. Once I became an adult, I kept looking for therapist until I found someone who won't put up with my crap. My mental illness has been hard on me and my parents. I went to a private college right after high school and failed out, due to a .87 GPA. I have been hospitalized over 30 times since I was 15, up to 9 in one year. I applied for and was approved for SSDI, without any problems.

I am now going to school. I ended up going to a community college to boost my GPA. I am now president of honor society and going to school to get my degree in human services. I had to pay for some of my own classes when I started back until I was able to take care of the "bad" debit that I accumulated at the private school, but my parents payed for them. I had to start by taking one class at a time, at the direction of my therapist. This gave me a chance to slowly get back into school. I didn't do all that well at first and took some incomplete grades in the first few classes due to being in the hospital. I was always up front with my instructors and let them know what was going on. I wouldn't be where I am today without the support of my parents and my therapist.

My journey has been hard on my parents though. They have had to, and still sometimes do, deal with my cutting and suicide attempts. They have had to watch meds work and fail. I have had bad side effects or meds that stop working after a while. They have had to deal with me wanting everything or nothing to do with them, and that can change in a matter of hours. They have dealt with the debit that I piled up at a private college and paying for the classes at a community college as well. They have dealt with the SSA with me and all the other agencies, like DHS and Section 8, that I have come into contact with being on SSDI. They had to deal with not being able to pick out my therapist and trusting my decision. Despite all that they always told me that they loved me. It was never a doubt in my mind. That is the best thing that they did for me. No matter if I was telling them I hated them they would say "I love you" right back to me or if I tried to kill myself. They loved me through it all. They also supported me in every way they could. They would give me their opinions but allow me to make my own decisions.

My advice for you is make sure your daughter knows you love her and you will support her. Advocate with the therapist office to get someone who can see her soon, if needed, and help her find someone who fits well with her. Encourage her to start off slow back in college or start at a community college where it is cheaper. Finally, get help for yourself to deal with her, if you need it. You will be no help to your daughter if you are not healthy yourself.

MB

i really appreciate your taking the time to do that. i have no doubt that she will come out the other side, somehow. she does know how loved she is, sometimes i think too much! she knows we never say no.

she is trying to get back into school, but i just don't see anything but disaster there. she is just not settled into meds that are good. she spends too much time in zombie-ville. or freakout-ville.
she has been doing a lot of artistic/craft things, and i have urged her to take an art class or 2 at one of the city colleges.

i also think that this guy-

is doing her a world of good.

she does need to work out the therapist thing. not sure what to do about that one. think her pdoc will get on her case about that.

again, thanks for reminding me that i am not alone. and my best to your folks. wish i could bestow gold stars or something to the brave parents i meet.