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XanaDUer2

(13,978 posts)
Mon Jan 1, 2024, 11:45 AM Jan 2024

I bit the bullet and reached out UPDATE!

Last edited Tue Jan 2, 2024, 04:44 PM - Edit history (1)

cousin PMd me and said text him my number, so I did. He finally texted me. I quickly filled him inon my upcoming tests, he was sympathetic and said let him know. So, now I have his number if there's an emergency. Thanks everyone for reading and weighing in. It's a start!


My other cousin visited yesterday, and her input about the being-ignored-by-a-relative issue was that his father, my moms brother, left their lives early on and their much closer to their mothers family. Not sure why that would effect us trying to get closer now? So, I just PMd him asking for his number, and that I'm going in for diagnostic tests.

And that's going to be it for me. He'll either respond or not, if he sees the message. My cousin, female, said the most we can hope for would be a lunch with him. No in-house visiting him and his family. I thought about this input. I think she's right. So, I reached out, need to let go of my happy-family-reunion fantasies.

He has a large house on The Island, btw. He's. Not in a 1-room shack. But I'm not pushing anymore. If I do have serious health issues, I may not even share them with him at this point. Oh, he'll probably be sad, but I'm kinda over it. My fantasies are just that I realize

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I bit the bullet and reached out UPDATE! (Original Post) XanaDUer2 Jan 2024 OP
At least you got some clarity. onecaliberal Jan 2024 #1
Exactly XanaDUer2 Jan 2024 #2
I'm so glad for you. onecaliberal Jan 2024 #3
I think I may be setting myself up for hurt XanaDUer2 Jan 2024 #4
You're going in knowing though. Only go as far as you can without destroying yourself. onecaliberal Jan 2024 #7
Thank you XanaDUer2 Jan 2024 #8
Hugggggs. Glad that you got a bit of clarity. And I hope that the test results niyad Jan 2024 #5
In in, to my mind, a precarious life position XanaDUer2 Jan 2024 #6
Sending you lots Goddessartist Jan 2024 #9
Long Island XanaDUer2 Jan 2024 #10
Gosh Goddessartist Jan 2024 #11

XanaDUer2

(13,978 posts)
4. I think I may be setting myself up for hurt
Mon Jan 1, 2024, 01:00 PM
Jan 2024

But I decided to just do it. My mom took his father in and supported him for years

onecaliberal

(35,889 posts)
7. You're going in knowing though. Only go as far as you can without destroying yourself.
Mon Jan 1, 2024, 02:21 PM
Jan 2024

You have to think of yourself first and foremost.

niyad

(120,041 posts)
5. Hugggggs. Glad that you got a bit of clarity. And I hope that the test results
Mon Jan 1, 2024, 01:05 PM
Jan 2024

can give you some hope.

It is my personal opinion that the fantasy image of "happy family" drummed into us by media, "experts", etc., is responsible for a great deal of unhappiness, anxiety, etc. One of my favourite sayings comes from a shrink: "95% of all families are dysfunctional."

XanaDUer2

(13,978 posts)
6. In in, to my mind, a precarious life position
Mon Jan 1, 2024, 01:27 PM
Jan 2024

I was hoping, should I ever need some help (homelessness) I could reach out for support. My mom helped their dad for decades. So, as usual, I'm on my own. Very lonely feeling. I'd love to meet his family, they're very well off. I just adored him and his sister as a kid. Lifetime ago

Goddessartist

(2,067 posts)
9. Sending you lots
Wed Jan 3, 2024, 08:08 AM
Jan 2024

of love. For what it's worth, I can't count on anyone in my family either, really.

What island?

Goddessartist

(2,067 posts)
11. Gosh
Wed Jan 3, 2024, 09:54 AM
Jan 2024

you're on the other side of the country!

You can message me anytime. I can be a part of your virtual family. I come from a big family, but have never really been supported, in fact have been attacked over and over again. That has slowed down with the passing of our Mom, but it's still there - childhood PTSD - continued abusive patterns. 3 are very wealthy, while I am trying to get disability. My lawyers are on it. My sweetheart takes care of me, but we have to borrow money. I suppose I should sell some art.

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