Mostly about my old job. I also have nightmares where I'm lost, either while walking or driving, and can't find anyone to help me. Or I am exhausted and just can't take another step but, again, nobody hears or helps me.

I wake up in a cold sweat and a couple of times I've jarred awake and fallen right back to sleep, and right back in to the nightmare.

If I take an Ativan, I'll have really weird dreams, but not nightmares.

It's exhausting.

Sometimes ill dream I'm back at my job. That bums me. I once had a dream i was back in south Florida , almost hit a kid in front of his house, and the father comes out with a big knife and tries to stab me. I'm cutting my hands trying to keep the blade away from me.

You suffer from anxiety too, right?

Some days are far more difficult than others.

I worry about serious illness, losing our apt, my SO dying leaving me alone, his prescription use, huge dental bills, never having a cheap condo, old car breaking down...money,

AND IT'S HORRIBLE WAY TO LIVE!I have an ultrasoung coming up. Dentist tomorrow.

It's like my brain is on track for anxiety. I'm on several meds. My therapist said try to be mindful and distract. Stop worrying about lack of control.
I try. I cry almost every session. I think he's getting sick of me, and I feel worse. You have the cats, I know.

They give me so much more than I give to them - both the indoor and the outdoor sweethearts.

My cat snuggles with me.

Mostly that my father isn't dead and still persecuting me.

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