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XanaDUer2

(13,872 posts)
Sun Jan 14, 2024, 11:44 AM Jan 2024

Mind racing thoughts on mortality

Thanks for bearing with me. I'm googling calcifications again, and all sorts of cancer stuff is coming up from reputable sources. My ultrasound is Thursday. I'm terrified. Awaiting to see if lease is renewed.

So much I want to do. Another part of me is like, if its serious, just let Nature take its course. I hate being in this position. I know Life doesn't work this way. I've always tried to be a good person and do whats right. I think I'm putting off the TMJ treatment now. No point if I'm dying. I'm cleaning to keep busy.

I'm sorry for constantly posting. Just feel so alone

17 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Mind racing thoughts on mortality (Original Post) XanaDUer2 Jan 2024 OP
I'm feeling anxious too. multigraincracker Jan 2024 #1
Wonderful news XanaDUer2 Jan 2024 #3
I would give you a physical hug if I could. 3catwoman3 Jan 2024 #2
Hug back XanaDUer2 Jan 2024 #5
Understand CountAllVotes Jan 2024 #4
I have such bad GAD XanaDUer2 Jan 2024 #6
Don't apologize for posting. pandr32 Jan 2024 #7
Thanks XanaDUer2 Jan 2024 #10
Here's the thing. pandr32 Jan 2024 #12
You all mean so much XanaDUer2 Jan 2024 #13
It is an awesome community. pandr32 Jan 2024 #16
With DU you are not alone. If I could sit with you and Polly Hennessey Jan 2024 #8
Thanks XanaDUer2 Jan 2024 #9
Sending you cyber hugs. irisblue Jan 2024 #11
Sending you hugs and gentle thoughts and soothing energy. MLAA Jan 2024 #14
Maybe I'll be okay XanaDUer2 Jan 2024 #17
I want to be cremated and interred with my mother's XanaDUer2 Jan 2024 #15

multigraincracker

(34,077 posts)
1. I'm feeling anxious too.
Sun Jan 14, 2024, 12:16 PM
Jan 2024

Had my annual chest CS over 2 weeks ago. The results are usually posted on my portal in a day or two. Nothing yet.
Doing a lot of breathing exercises to combat it. Kind of working.
In the mean time I’m thrilled that I just got the news that my new wife has been put on my health insurance. She was paying $200/week for a crap insurance. Now she is covered for life. She is a RN that does home care for babies hooked up to machines to stay alive. She is a Saint.

Best of luck and hang in there.

XanaDUer2

(13,872 posts)
3. Wonderful news
Sun Jan 14, 2024, 12:20 PM
Jan 2024

I'm so glad for that. I'm on Medicare now.

I know its hard. Scary. I don't even want to look at my portal. This is irrational. I should take control. My mom died at 60. I'm 58.

CountAllVotes

(21,068 posts)
4. Understand
Sun Jan 14, 2024, 12:20 PM
Jan 2024

I'm right there with you my friend.

We go on anyway and too often we haven't a clue as to why.





XanaDUer2

(13,872 posts)
10. Thanks
Sun Jan 14, 2024, 12:44 PM
Jan 2024

I really feel guilty for constantly posting. Like I'm a hog. My fears build up to a point I just. Feel like I'm going to lose it

pandr32

(12,170 posts)
12. Here's the thing.
Sun Jan 14, 2024, 12:56 PM
Jan 2024

Guilt just makes you feel worse so you should remind yourself that all of us have the option to stop or not stop by your posts as we scroll. There is no way anyone finds you a bother.
You have a need right now and sounding out to us is perfectly welcome.
I can only imagine I would be going through a lot of fear and anxiety if I were in your position.
More hugs for you.

XanaDUer2

(13,872 posts)
9. Thanks
Sun Jan 14, 2024, 12:42 PM
Jan 2024

That means a lot. My sister who sprouts RW talking points, is constantly sick, in pain, etc but doesn't like to hear me talk about my health. I'll read "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE TAKE CARE OF MY NIECE"

She's a disaster

irisblue

(34,265 posts)
11. Sending you cyber hugs.
Sun Jan 14, 2024, 12:48 PM
Jan 2024

The waiting for the exam, then the results is 2000 kinds of a bitch.
And post as much as you like, that is why the forum exists

XanaDUer2

(13,872 posts)
15. I want to be cremated and interred with my mother's
Sun Jan 14, 2024, 01:22 PM
Jan 2024

Ashes in a S FL cemetery. My beloved grandfather is buried there all alone, and I dont want him to be down there alone

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