All life is a compromise. Sometimes we are better of with less than perfect. A poor person just doesn't have the options of the rich. I remember a right wing radio person giving the advice to leave the hood. And thinking what friends and family do you have out there to help you out. Like for taking the kids so you can work or take care of business. how about when your car won't start. Been married 3 times and I know its a give and take.

gaslighting. I'm not suicidal yet, but maybe I should be; the MASH theme holds special meaning to me. Mr. BS is "conflict" and "fight" avoidant...I've picked up the financial slack and emotional lack so many times that there's nothing left inside. Where can I go for help living safely and securely at this ripe old age now? I don't have enough shovels to stop the financial and emotional abuse that abates for a short time, and then recurs over and over and over. "Nothing personal, just business" they've always said. There's other sorts of domestic non-physical abuse that's apparently quite legal. That kind has stolen my internal identity. No counselor has been able to crack the immature and troubled "nut" I married, but I got labeled the patient..and he has great persuasive coping skills. I got the "happy pills," I got the degree, I got the "job," I've been to see the free family law consultations, and sent away to find the retainers. I'm the one who exaggerated the "troubles" to come and inwardly feels the humiliation(s) I've endured BECAUSE I compromised too many years, too scared, and kept too poor to make the leap successfully. I fear my government's solutions more than I fear his childishness, and so I compromised. I am ashamed that I have become "unkind." My teeth are falling out; his and my family have perished, and I was the one estranged and disinherited by all those "loving" family members. I'm in emotional pain daily. As a woman, will I ever regain the autonomy and confidence of my more youthful days, the hope and joy I felt on our wedding day. I have few vices, but still smoke because slow suicide is painless, and brings on many changes, and I can take or leave it if I please. I look forward to returning to the "twinkle" my Creator thought should become a named human.

https://genius.com/Johnny-mandel-suicide-is-painless-lyrics