I'm not a fun person anymore. I'm a sick unemployed disabled person who doesn't drive. I'm that person now

feeling my age. Bipolar depression and Ocd combined with anxiety have been killing me this week. I'm back to what-iffing abt hubby passing before I do.

Here's hoping we can focus on something positive.

I get you. I became unable to work some yrs back. Strong anxiety and GAD.

Cymbalta launched me into the stratosphere. I was 21 when I first suspected I was bipolar, and abt 35 when I finally got the diagnosis, because they didn't discover bipolar 2 until later.

Keep hanging in there, and I will too. No binge so far today.

What a rough few weeks you've had.

I think I'll fall asleep and not wake up texting makes a quick check in easy.

I'm glad that you find some comfort here on DU.
But yeah, a simple text from family is not too much to expect.

But she can fly to Utah.

Yall care more

She said she would check in yesterday. I think I annoy her now. Like I said, I'm not the person I was

The thing that gets me these days is that such events prove that even those who you were sure were close to you usually are not as close as you thought. Yet, when I am a bit standoffish and reluctant to just take everything at its word, I get accused of being 'a grouch' and 'unfriendly'. Well, I did not become that way by choice. I became that way from experience. And, there is no better teacher than experience. NONE.

Or to use that golden oldie:

'Once learned, twice earned.'

Over family. Its like a familial borderline personality. When she had a hysterectomy, i stayed with her days to help her. She couldn't come here to help me with my surgery due to work. I was understanding.

Having worked with home less for a decade, I have a fear of becoming homeless myself. I've seen ppl who had a great job lose it, and end up living in their cars.

I was trying, per my shrink, to see whom I could rely on to allay my fears. So I asked and she told me all the complex reasons ppl become homeless. Remember, i saw ppl who just didn't have enough money.

I think that i became a potential burden. I didn't feel better of course.