I feel so hopeless

I’m having one of those days where I see what is going on in the world and can’t help but think all hope is lost. That no matter what we do that we are destined to lose.

I want to believe that there is some hope. That things can and will get better. That I am over-reacting and that things have been this bad and worse before and somehow things got better. Not just on the gender thing (I’m on trans HRT) but in keeping the world from falling into a dystopian future where the rich have screwed over everyone else. I never felt this way before 2016. Even during the Bush years I had hope.

It seems like every single thing is lined up against us! The richest man in the world not only is against us now but it now been revealed is behind the major Trans panic that started in 2022. The peoples united ruling from years ago combined with the polarization of the US ensures there will never be enough votes no matter what we do to get the legislation needed to stop the ever growing corporate hegemony. Said Hegemony will sells us all out the movement bigot activists threaten a boycott and cut all sources of funding to promote equality as the billionaires funnel more and more money into the hate machine. We won’t even be able to promote our views via media due to said corporations not allowing for fear of boycotts of right wingers/ China/ and Russia.

Even if we win this November I don’t see how things won’t continue to deteriorate.

Funny enough, I also feel had things gone different back in 2016, maybe then we could have been overseeing a new age of progress. The fact that things changed so quickly and maybe can again is the only light I see right now… and it is so faint. If everything goes the correct way maybe we can at least return to normal.

I’m so glad I never had kids and between my age and HRT I know I probably never will. They would have suffered especially in the years to come. I just hope I have the savings to get my brother (who no-one thinks could manage on his own) and myself through the years ahead.

I am not young anymore. I’m on the verge of middle aged now and I can’t ever remember things being this dark before. I just can’t see any future that ends happily for me or those I love…