The boomerang effect.

I claim originator status if it catches on and someone hadn't already thought of up it as a mental health phrase.

I had a lot of pretty deep realizations Friday and yesterday. My mind is clearer and my mood much better than when I bottomed out Thursday night in therapy.

Boomerang - I was thrown back a ways, then made the turn and hurtled forward. Maybe it's really the Anti-boomerang Effect, since those are thrown forward and then come back. Whatever works.

One comment, albeit a pretty outrageous one IMHO, and I am thrown back into deep hopelessness. My epiphanies about this: just because someone is in a position of power and authority doesn't make them right. Nor does that mean I have to give in to them abjectly. I realized it's ok to question and ok to challenge if I feel they are wrong. I'll never give in again to something I feel in my heart is against my best interest.

Another interesting day at home yesterday, a lot of contempt and animosity between myself and my sister, the one who never goes home. I came to the realization later in the day that it's pointless to argue with someone who is emotionally stunted, they are incapable of "getting it" and seeing the big picture. So, why expend energy I need to better myself on a pointless task that goes nowhere?

I have the right to feel good about myself, to feel like I matter, and to be treated with respect and dignity.

That I am capable of far more than I give myself credit for, I just have to try.