Every bit helps. Someday we might feel strong enough to stand.

I woke up and sighed with relief, because I was still home and still had my wallet.

Then I remembered... the evil won.

Major nightmare, only it was real.

I'm trying to avoid dwelling too much. I need to get past the rest of this month. (There's also a big doctor appointment/test in two weeks.) I think by the time December comes, we'll have more ideas about what we need to do in the future.

But this next couple weeks are going to be full of anxiety. I'm trying to find ways to distract myself, like decluttering my closets. I found a whole box of old CDs (remember them?) and decided to get a CD player and listen to them. The randomness of the music choosing -- just whatever CD is on top-- will be more calming that calling out commands to Alexa. I don't want to make choices now.

In a couple weeks or months, we'll have regained some strength. We have to take some time to recover from the trauma, no matter what form that takes.

And I knew that somehow, some way, that fucking criminal pos was going to win when I saw the states falling. Woke up Wed, knew he won, but didn't want to get out of bed to verify. I finally did, holding out hope she won the swing states. Anyway, turned on the tv for the inevitable.

I am crushed. I texted my cousin who know fears for my mental health. This was the capper on top of expensive dental issues, jaw shoved back into my ears now having problems, surgery, problems w relatives, and asshole partner.

It just feels like the universe is piling on.

I'm just done. My life sucks and I'm wrrd ill be getting 32k dollar headaches the rest of my life. My partner has no sympathy, was yelling at me earlier, and i finally snapped and told him i hope he has virulent quickly-killing cancer. I can't take anymore

I wish we could all just sleep for a month, just to get through the worst of it.
Only the worst of it is going to be four years after January.

Dreading it and praying i don't have pain and headaches the rest of my life. Its major work and its prepaid I've lost all confidence in the specialist who hurt me carelessly. I can't get a lawyer to even talk me about suing.

It's gotten very hard to get attorneys to take on medical malpractice suits. Too much work?
I hope this procedure helps at least.

It's the only thing that takes the worst of the anxiety away.

Hard. I'm reading 2 illegal immigrants gleeful Fuckstain won bc he's not communist.

If theyre packed off to a camp I'm not saying a word to help

We are a very sick nation, and too many people have nothing but hate in their hearts for fellow citizens and believe that we have no rights to disagree with their hatred and indeed need to be destroyed. Yes, we will somehow get through the next four years, but the idea of waking up every day to the media praising whatever Trump has said or done is just more than I can stomach. The Post and NYT are already doing it, and he hasn’t even been inaugurated.

And I am saving the horror stories for the sake of history.

What I find most frustrating about this Trump-triggered depression (my own, not America’s) is there is no link between what I’m experiencing and what I’m feeling. Yesterday I spent the morning volunteering at an abortion clinic, and the evening watching movies with family. And today I’m obsessing over isolation and claustrophobia. Knowing the causes, internal and external, is moderately helpful. Wish it was a cure.