back in therapy
I had a major meltdown on a Friday a couple of weeks ago. Once I had calmed down, my wife said, "Baby. You need therapy."
I'd seen a really good therapist, Jane, several years ago, but quit in 2008. Money was tight and she didn't take insurance. Plus, it was very hard to get to her office and just the trip there and back was daunting enough to make me quit.
Since then, I've looked intermittently for therapists near my home and who take my insurance, with lousy results (including several where I left messages and got no call-back at all, not even to say "sorry, I'm booked"
.
I called Jane the Monday after the meltdown. She had just had a regular client cancel, so she had a regular spot ready-made just for me, Tuesdays at 7:00. And she did not raise her rate.
I will brave the hour-long six mile commute to get to Jane. I need serious help.
The first session a couple of nights ago has already yielded positive results.
Thanks for listening.
= new reply since forum marked as read
We all need help once in a while. I am glad you are doing this. The hardest part for me was getting it started. Once involved I was able to make it and get a positive outcome. The same will be true for you. 
To get to the point where one admits they need a little help. Talking it out, puts your troubles into words, for your therapist to understand, but also for you to understand. It helps paint a picture to get your head around. The answers are within you, this just helps tease them out.
Positive is good!
After a slight misadventure with newer meds, I'm taking older meds that have worked well enough for me in the past. I reached a point where the unpleasant side effects of the new meds exceeded the benefits, so I reduced the dose against medical advice, well, because I'm an idiot. (I used to do that same sort of thing with my asthma meds and then I'd end up in the hospital, but i haven't done that since the mid 'eighties.)
A social support system, strong meds, and occasional therapy are essential for me. Otherwise I become a feral human being living in the shadows.
I'm so glad you have Mrs. V. looking out for you.
Take good care of yourself, and be gentle with yourself!
