I had been sick since I was 20. It was a hellish 10 years and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

when I was first diagnosed with depression.

I had been having panic attacks since the age of 10 but wasn't actually diagnosed with Panic Disorder w/Agoraphobia until I was about 33 or so.

Then was diagnosed with GAD and SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) when I was about 39.

Just turned 59 last October.

Have been dealing with these issues for a long time...

All I know about medicines in the 70s is from One flew over the Cuckoo's nest. Not very accurate, lol.

I kept up the facade for many many years. When the 'wall' came crashing down it came down very hard.

Curious? Ask me anything. I have nothing to hide anymore. Don't give a shit what anyone thinks of me. If they can't handle my "issues" then I have no use for them in my life.

It was, of course, a lie. But I believed it. There was no problem I wouldn't take on. I was the "strong person" that everyone poured their own troubles on. I was just a big sponge that soaked everything in.

I was a phony.

Finally realizing the truth was a tad bit difficult.

Getting through 5 college classes with full blown double pneumonia. I used the shit saying, "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Proved that was bullshit, the stress wiped out my immune system.

The social stigma of a diagnosis was often worse than the mental illness itself.

But now there are all these tv commercials for antidepressants, and people going to their family MD for scripts. Very little "real" diagnoses by qualified MH docs, IMO, and there's a HUGE number of the meds out there now, as I imagine it may have been in the 60s when "Mother's Little Helper" pills were dispensed like candy.

Of course all those chemicals are now in the water and the food chain. Who cares! Pharma's making big bucks!

So I would have been about in my early 30's then. I had been dealing with depression since my teenage years. I was laying in a dark room all day refusing to get up. Ended up going to the hospital and staying as an inpatient and then doing outpatient work. After that I started seeing a counselor through the YMCA program who was a grad student working on becoming a nurse practitioner. She has been one of the best I've been treated by. After she finished her schooling she went into private practice and asked me if I wanted to continue as a patient and I didn't think twice about it.

I've been outside the US though for the last 8 years, so I've only seen her sporadically when I'm in the US and get my meds from a doctor abroad. Occasionally when things get bad she'll do a phone appointment with me if I need to.

It was at this point that I realized I had been depressed for most of my life and started getting therapy and meds. It has just been with the past year that I finally got the correct diagnosis of bipolar II.

I sure did...

My hypomania tends to show itself as insomnia. I go through weeks where I sleep maybe 4hr a night. I do not take sleep aids. I have 3 kids and my husband tends to travel quite a bit, so I want to be alert for their needs.

This, of course, results in exhaustion and a decrease in my tolerance levels. During these times I have a very short fuse and tend to get angry very fast.

Although I am very productive during these cycles. The last cycle ended just a couple of weeks ago. I painted 4 rooms in our house, reorganized all of our closets and cleared out old toys. I also finished 2 grants and 1 manuscript for work.

Usually, I hyperventilate, shake, thrash, pace, get very loud or I don't speak at all. Then all of the sudden I speak up saying, "Let's fist fight!" or "let's go to Canada!" Or I jog off to my mother inlaws house, which is 6 miles away.

Then of course there's the repetitious suidical thoughts and wrestling with my husband over knives.

hormones was a recipe for it.

At that time I was diagnosed with depression and borderline personality disorder. I have seen been diagnosed with several more things including bipolar and PTSD. I am now 31 and it has been the hardest 17 of my life.

didn't start until I was over 50. It's situational but also dibilitating.
Several months before 9/11/07, I remember thinking, I have never been happier in my life.
That all changed after I found my beloved son dead by suicide.
Life is different now. Well, that's a momentous understatement. I never saw any of it coming.
In all his 33 years, we never observed depression in Danny. He lived a full & busy life.
In many ways, I am still in shock.
I struggle to get out of bed, everyday.
Everyday IS a struggle.

What's it like?

Very intelligent Aspies like myself can look fairly normal unless we are in a spontaneous social situation. I have problems reading non-verbal social cues and sometimes miss sarcasm. I often take things literally and I am not good with those "lateral thinking" questions with off-the-wall answers.

I can't imagine a life without sarcasm. That's the best thing about some British humor.

Now dry humor said with a straight face, I ALWAYS fall for that, I am a gullible like an idiot.

I'm a dead pan, dark humor, dry humor kind of person. So sarcasm naturally follows along. It literately runs in the family.

So...yeah.

Was diagnosed last year. The earliest I remember suffering from severe depression and social anxiety is 5 years old.

At 15 I was "depressed" and put on anti-depressants. At 22 I was diagnosed with "major depression". I've been off and on "happy" pills for 20 years...