There isn't a group dedicated specifically for eating disorders, but you're in an appropriate group for it. Some people have come here with similar situations.

Please take care of yourself and we're here for you.

I appreciate the support. I'm having a hard time with it.

I think I did some serious damage to myself, especially whenever I got the flu or pneumonia and didn't have adequate reserves to properly fight off the infections.

When I'm in my darkest place I simply don't feel like eating anything. I don't get hungry. Trouble is I used to run obsessively, and I often had jobs that involved heavy labor like loading and unloading trucks and I don't think my body had the calories or nutrients it needed to properly repair itself, which is why all my joints are totally fucked up and painful now. I go to bed in the evening when I hurt too much, and I get out of bed in the morning when I hurt too much.

Some of the anti-depressants and other psych meds people complain about because they cause weight gain keep me at a normal weight. Go figure, and I know that's not fair to people who have trouble keeping weight off.

and it has helped to keep me normal. I quit caffeine because I started losing too much.

I'm just like you - I get hyper when I don't eat.

But once you don't eat for a little while ... you have that urge to stop. Do you know what I mean?

I have the opposite, I eat too much, even when I am not physically hungry.

I think you are right about "once you don't eat for a little while ... you have that urge to stop." That's the only way I have been able to stay on a diet. If I can cut down for three days, the urge to eat plummets, so I think you should try to avoid gaps.

For what it's worth, and this is not very healthy, i remember reading once that Natalie Wood had a hard time keeping from losing weight, and she used to eat a lot of ice cream to keep her weight up.

but I detest sweets. I drink unsweetened iced tea (decaf) as my primary beverage. I really don't like anything that is sweet beyond vegetable sweet.

the hardest thing after those three days was eating again

seems not eating is easier than eating after not eating for a time

It becomes a struggle.

Overeaters Anonymous. This organization has helped many with your disorder. No dues or fees, all are welcome. Good Luck!

http://www.oa.org/