Mental Health Support

Tobin S.

(10,420 posts) Sat Dec 20, 2014, 11:53 PM Dec 2014

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This message was self-deleted by its author (Original Post) Tobin S. Dec 2014 OP

Your focus is right where it needs to be, my dear Tobin! CaliforniaPeggy Dec 2014 #1

Yep. :) Tobin S. Dec 2014 #2

Oh, good... CaliforniaPeggy Dec 2014 #3

congratulations my friend, you are a walking, talking, feeling grownup. mopinko Dec 2014 #4

Thanks, mo. Tobin S. Dec 2014 #5

CaliforniaPeggy

(152,099 posts)

1. Your focus is right where it needs to be, my dear Tobin!

Reply to Tobin S. (Original post)

Sun Dec 21, 2014, 12:00 AM

Dec 2014

The future is yours, thanks to your hard work and intelligence!

Congratulations!

Tobin S.

(10,420 posts)

2. Yep. :)

Reply to CaliforniaPeggy (Reply #1)

Sun Dec 21, 2014, 12:05 AM

Dec 2014

I got the Christmas card, btw. The poems are very nice. I hope that shoulder gets healed up soon.

CaliforniaPeggy

(152,099 posts)

3. Oh, good...

Reply to Tobin S. (Reply #2)

Sun Dec 21, 2014, 12:13 AM

Dec 2014

I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'm looking forward to a pain-free shoulder too.

Merry Christmas to you and Jen, my dear Tobin!

mopinko

(71,816 posts)

4. congratulations my friend, you are a walking, talking, feeling grownup.

Reply to Tobin S. (Original post)

Sun Dec 21, 2014, 02:32 PM

Dec 2014

i wish i could send my kids to follow you around for a while. i hope some day they will be able to say something similar about me. right now they are stuck on the mistakes, of which there were many.

it has taken me to age 60 to really appreciate and embrace some of the things my father gave me. it took the farm to make me feel like i was my father's daughter, and that was a good thing. he taught me in an sideways way to be careful of alcohol, and that is why i have a life that he would have killed for.

and my mom, too, for enduring those years with love for all us kids, who went through the same.

it has been my pleasure to follow along on your journey, my friend. a real pleasure.
all good things for you, and jen.

Tobin S.

(10,420 posts)

5. Thanks, mo.

Reply to mopinko (Reply #4)

Sun Dec 21, 2014, 07:15 PM

Dec 2014

I think the turn in my thinking about things that happened when I was growing up came when I realized that I have made some bad mistakes in my life as well. I've hurt people. I understood to get past that personal shame I had to learn how to forgive myself. Then I realized that we are all growing and evolving as we age. There are things that we do when we are young adults, when many people start having children, when we are not very wise and not very aware of the way our minds work. Most people do not intend to hurt other people, but it happens and I think it's mostly done before we have had a chance to evolve personally.

We all change and most of us grow psychologically as we age. It's probably natural to be angry at your parents about some things when you are a young adult. When you find a way to move past it is when you start to really grow as a human being.

*Note: I'm not talking about forgiving people who are guilty of terrible abuse. For some people, it is necessary to cut all ties to family relations due to the level of toxicity and past crimes.