Alex the Wonder Dog had to leave this world because of a seizure that would not end, I still sometimes cry for his leaving in 2008. The grief we feel for the loss of our beloved long time non human companions is not recognized as valid by many. It is valid.
I am sending you light and hugs, and I respect you for being able to share your feelings & life with us.

i know intuitively that it is perfectly acceptable to still be grieving after spending nearly ten years with her, but i feel like i don't have many people i can talk to about it irl. i know i have friends who understand, but then there is the committee in my brain telling me no one will care. i wish i could talk to my husband about it, but he's still pretty shut down.

i am so grateful that i have you guys to talk to

as I recall, she really loved him and he loved her right back. Is he by chance an introvert? I am, and the internalized grief I felt shut me down for along long time.

i have never seen such emotion from him as i did the day we said goodbye and he actually howled in the car as we drove to the vet. he is very much an introvert and a hermit who also has great disdain for any sort of emotion, so i know he's having a really hard time with this.

a big struggle in my heart and mind right now is dealing with the grief alone because of how he's reacting to it. i give him all the space he needs, but he has not been giving me the comfort that i need because he's pulled into himself. we work opposite schedules, so i know the hardest time for both of us is when we're home alone without her for company and conversation.

oh, let's also not forget the horrible guilt i have right now because it appears our remaining cat isn't enough.

this is my first real grief and it is far more complex than i ever imagined.

several times, screaming and weeping, a few times in front of my then wife, but many more were alone. Do you have any grief/loss groups in your area you can go to, believe me, no one there will laugh at you. I wish I had gone sooner, years sooner. I have found much support there, you might as well. I also lurker at many pet loss sites for a good while, rainbowbridge.com was the first one I went to, but there are many more now. I am sorry that you husband cannot give you the support you need and want now.

it's a safe place for the discussion and wonderfully supportive. i also spent most of my last session with my therapist on it.

i'm particularly avoidant of talking about it with her previous human because i don't want to stir up pain for her. but i've been completely open with my boss about it because the both of us get moody and we have to be open about what's going on.

please don't think me callous or uncaring for not responding to you about losing chris. i have been struggling to find something adequate to say, but want you to know you and his family have been in my thoughts

I appreciate your thoughts so much, dear girl!