Be glad you're not bi-polar?

I know some who don't have the luxury of going from one to the other gradually and it is tough on everyone. It seems they bounce back more quickly than those I know who slowly spiral further down though. Sticking around here could trigger you back to happy if you let it.

tells me you're gonna be just fine. Now it's off for that Java Chip Frappuccino before the boycotters get the best of Starbucks.

a soy gingerbread latte for me very soon!

Bipolar disorder is considered a severe mental illness and needs to be medically treated. You are not likely to control it using home remedies or alternative medicine. I know that because I have bipolar disorder and going without treatment nearly wrecked my life and killed me.

of mania (feeling like a machine that wants to get things done, recklessly, work work work, play play play)

and states of depression (lump on a log, can't move, can't feel loved or feel purpose)

does that sound about right?

I can't go to a doctor.

And the cycle tends to be long- one or two cycles a year. There will also be times when you feel normal. There is rapid cycling bipolar disorder, but I think it is rare.

It some cases (like mine) it can also lead to psychosis, which is a detachment from reality.

Seriously, if you don't have psychosis, the meds to treat the illness are surprisingly cheap. After an initial consultation and after you get stabilized, you'll only need to see a doctor a few times a year if everything is going well.

I go through these states I think 2wice a month?

like normal for majority of time. then there are days where I can solidly manic or depressive. it can switch within the day as well?

I dunno. is it worth my time to get officially diagnosed?

You may have something different than what we are talking about here, and no one in this group is close to being an expert.

Seriously, go see a doctor, even if it's a primary care doctor. Mental illness can wreck your life and potentially shorten it.

And your GP can get you fixed up. I used to stay pretty much manic all the time, just hyper mode. But someone could just say something like a putdown and BAM instant depressive mode and may stay there for a week or 2. I think I worked out of it when I had just so much work to do at work that I had to go hyper just to do it. Then I would stay like that until something made me crash again.

23? maybe 22.

I'm 27 now.

I ask because of the way that you phrased it at the beginning.....as if you are finally convinced.

There are other things that can cause those swings.....

Have you considered a homeopathic doctor....someone who might be cautious about going straight to drugs?

I don't think it's gotten worse. It's hard to tell.

rather than one for bi-polar. Depressive gets me where I don't do anything. May not shower for a couple of days not eat for a few days. It is hard for me to tell, but when I had a roommate they would let me know. Being 67 the manic means I like to work on my house, clean the house, play with the dog and really be kind of normal like I used to be. So I guess when I was younger and working I was probably in a manic state most of my life.

I noticed that I had slipped into a depressive cycle with I stopped going to the gym, I have not been since July. I used to go before that 3 times a week. I can work my way out of the depressive by getting back to the gym, but I don't want to for some reason. I am hoping the Lexpro will hurry up and kick in and give me the will to want to do something.

With out the meds, you have to remember to know that what you feel is a chemical condition. It does not mean you are not loved by someone, or that you are useless etc. It is not you it is just a chemical imbalance. Like diabetes and other medical problems.

I know I have it, but I can usually deal with it, I have most of my life. Along with mild schizophrenia, which will make you go off the deep end until you find out what it is.

You are supposed to stay on it forever but it brought me down pretty quick and I quit it after about 9 months because the psychiatrist's office people were jerks and he did nothing to correct the problem. (They gave me an appointment for February 30, which I translated into March 1, but they turned me away saying I don't have an appointment that day
) Jerks!
I'm terribly depressed now, but Prosaic and Paxil made me feel worse. I'm not sure what to try now, and I'm not really sure I am Bi-Polar but in my case, when I was diagnosed as Bi-Polar, Lithium really worked.

the longer you go through it, the tougher it is to treat. it makes permanent changes in your brain.

you HAVE to take care of yourself. whatever your reasons for not wanting to see a doc, you really have to realize that long term this is not a good plan. at some point it will start to interfere w your life, and the lives of those around you.
and ignore the home remedies. there will always be some that think meds are wrong, but they are not doctors. dont listen to them.

Unmanaged depression and mental health issues can have physical effects on the brain, long term. Getting the right treatment tailored for you might take time, but managing this will be worth it.
Hugs and hopes for patience for you on this journey.

NOT a general practicioner (even though they do a good job with some mental health matters). Ask lots of questions. Express your doubts and fears. Don't walk out of that office with ANY unanswered questions - YOU ARE THE CUSTOMER!

Best wishes.