I'm pretty ok, maybe 8/9, but my daughter isn't doing well at all, and thinking of her (and trying to 'help') pulls me down.

I am at weird 3/4, this weekend I really got hit hard by a feeling of dread - like all the depression symptoms hit me all at once full force (sleeplessness, not enjoying favorite activities or mmmm food, irritable, slightly paranoid, constant worrying and just a feeling of ick). I can't shake it and I don't know what is causing it (no change in medications, no major life stressors)

Now I can't sleep (worry/dread) and I am pretty sure my lack of sleep is making all the above symptoms worse. I keep thinking that if I could just sleep for more than 45 min at a time I would feel better.

I have never felt this way for so long before - I am usually pretty good at getting out of a funk with music, playing with my dogs, or watching something funny.

Hope everyone is doing well

I'm feeling quite validated these days on forums outside DU and that really helps.

Crashing and burning, complete with hallucinations and hospitalization, does little for one's self-confidence.

I've got a regular psychiatrist, and new meds that seem to be working. They make me dizzy sometimes. That side effect is supposed to away in time.

But, as usual, I'm a terrible judge of my own mental state.

I feel like I've got a lifetime's experience faking it, and I do, up until the point I go over the falls.

I've had my good days and my bad. I felt great earlier today, but I've fallen back into my nightly routine of either not feeling anything or feeling bad.

Hoping some day I'll be able to change that. The gym has been helpful, but there's still that sense of loneliness. Think that's the thing that gnaws at me most.

Cynicism level: High

(Thanks for the post, Steve)

I'm here.

GOD DAMNIT BIPOLAR DISORDER ARE YOU DEVELOPING ANXIETY ISSUES NOW?!?

FUCK.

okay so you probably all read that and were like whatever! But that's okay then. I'm just letting it all hang out!

I did spend 3 days sleeping too much as a coping method.