service.

i just wanted to post something here that i hope doesnt sound preachy, pull yourself up by your bootstraps or anything like that.

but i just thought i would post something about my volunteer work.
i have spent much of my life trying to make the world a better place. but it doesnt seem like any of it really did.
i do have to my credit that i helped to found a support org for hard hatted women. it still exists today, 30 years later. it does a lot of good work, but the percentage of women in blue collar trades has hardly budged.

the rest of it, fighting wars, working for the era, even helping to elect barack obama, seems like it has all just slipped away.

but for the last 2 years, inspired by du'er mucifer, i have been a hospice volunteer. i was really afraid it might be a weight i couldnt bear. but i did it anyway.
and i just cannot tell you what it has done for ME.
this is a door we will all walk through, for ourselves or for family.
to face it once a week seems to take the fear down a notch.

but most of all, to be of service to people in crisis has been one of the most fulfilling things i have ever done.
i give most of the credit to my amazing dog, biff.
i got him certified as a therapy dog, and he goes w me every week.
he opens doors and starts conversation in an amazing way.
he totally disarms people.

and then they talk to me.
they teach us that our most important job is "holding space", being there in a non-judgemental way.
with his help i am able to walk into the lives of people at a most horrific moment, and have them open up.
they tell me about the struggles in their family. the trials and tribulations. the conflict.
and i just listen, and tell them that it is a horrible moment, but i am here to make it a little lighter.
and we do. it is almost impossible not to smile at biff. many folks pet him and feel that there is some peace somewhere.

i walk out almost every day feeling that we have accomplished something. feeling like we have actually made a difference in the world. a difference that sticks.

the obligation that i feel to this job is sorta like having a pet, and having to set yourself aside a little bit every day, and take care of them.
hardly a week goes by that i dont feel like bugging out, and blowing it off. but i very rarely do.
especially on special days. like mother's day, father's day, christmas.

instead of being swamped by my own problems, i am there to lighten that for others.
the talks, the hugs, the smiles.
it fills my heart.
fills it w the satisfaction of making the world a little better.

i know that a lot of folks here cant hold a job. to volunteer is a job that is not a job. i could quit tomorrow and no one would be mad. it would have no consequences.
but i would miss it. i am lucky that i dont need the money.
but i sure need the satisfaction of doing something good in the world.

anyone here who is looking for a way to get out of their own little world, think about a way to serve others.
the rewards are immense. the costs are few.