they've gone through many different combinations/medications to get her moods right. The issue with antidepressants and such are that they are so variable in different people....indeed, recent studies also indicate high placebo effects in many patients. It is a really frustrating thing.

We've done wellbutrin with tegretol, with gabapentin, with Lamictal, with risperidol, with abilify-
All of them have bombed- made things worse actually.

She FINALLY is getting sleep on 2mg of Zanax, but thinks it is making her
too drowsy in the day.

It never ends...

And I am SO frustrated.

She is such a wonderful, talented and kind young woman.
This shit just isn't FAIR!

BHN

It has reduced the severity of my hypomanic/manic attacks to the point that I almost don't have them anymore and when I do, they're less severe. Depression is something we're still working on to lessen.

I am also on Wellbutrin, but I don't think it works for me. Bipolar depression is harder to figure out for physchitrists.

It was actually beneficial to my daughter for a period of time,
but the new doc told us today that it can worsen depression and is only
meant to be used for short periods of time- My daughter has been taking
it for FOUR years- he said, no more and wants her to take half her dose of 300mg
tomorrow. He wrote a new script for 150mg.

He also told us he has seen great success for BP depression with Depakote.
I have not seen a truly manic cycle in her for at least three years though.
And from what I read about it today after our visit with the doc, it appears
it is more likely prescribed for mania- I have no idea what to think any more.

The depression thing is so painful to watch her go through-
But so far, we haven't found the "cure."

She's going to the desert for a few days with some friends-
Maybe that will help her mood, the desert does wonders for my soul.

I told her I don't want her to start the Depakote until she gets back though,
I always keep a close watch anytime she starts a new med, and I wouldn't want her
experiencing an ADR away from home...

I am seriously considering checking out some alternative solutions.

I took SAMe for years when I went through a really bad depression-
It is widely used in Europe to treat depression and has been for decades.

All the the pharma meds have turned out to be complete disasters so far.

My instinct is to take her off everything and see who's in there and try some
holistic approaches.

I hope your depression lessens- remember, you are loved no matter what
your disorder tells you.

My daughter has been having really low self esteem through this depression,
so if you don't have some one to hug you right now, consider yourself hugged
by this mom-


BHN

Even though you haven't seen much of the manic attacks in her, it could still benefit in some way. Depakote is a mood stabilizer by the way, kind of like lithium. You have to check her blood once and awhile to see if the depakote levels are okay. So yes, keep her close by when you start doing this. I take the "It doesn't hurt until you see." method with pills. I only don't trust two pills in general though.

1. Zyprexa.

My husbands best friend for 35 years took this pill and it gave him type 1 diabetes. There was a class action lawsuit, he got $90,000 in compensation. He then eventually died. He went to the hospital because he didn't feel good, they found out he had pneumonia and some diabetic shock, and he threw up and it went into his lungs... so they put a tube down his throat to help him breathe. He then had a heart attack for 30 minutes and went brain dead from the lack of oxygen going to his brain... That's what we can piece together anyways, we get details mixed up. We blame his wife for neglect, but of course you can't prove it. It was very obvious that he had difficulty taking care of himself, besides staying up all night to roam Chicago, taking thousands of pictures. He'd go about once and awhile claiming he cured himself of diabetes and went to a bar to drink beer... His wife decided to spend time at her mansion out in the middle of no where, to take care of the horses instead of him. She also cashed out on both of the houses they had and was married again within 5 months. There's a lot of other obvious details, but you get the picture.

2. Paxil.

That was the first anti-depressant drug recommended by a doctor to me... except it was by a non-psychiatrist. And I heard you could lose your imagination by taking it. Nooo thanks. I need that. I'm an artist and a writer.

Now, as far as taking her off the pills. NO. Not unless she's in psychward over seen by a doctor. The reason I'm saying this is because I did go off all my medicine before. I was forced to because I over dosed on IBprofin... The pill Lexapro is serious evidence for me that I'm truly bipolar. The only reason I would have that strong of a reaction to it, would be if I was bipolar. It made my manic episodes happen every night almost, and they made them 100x worse. I told them about it, and they upped my lexapro. I went goofy after that... Going off all my pills completely? Aaaaaaahhhhhh... That is pain. It is very painful also because you realize it's not the pills fucking you up necessarily. I mean, I was fucked up...but lexapro only made it worse, and going off of it didn't make things better. It just made things a bit less horrible. But that's it. Plus, you don't know how much is actually working for her... My psychiatrist figured out I was Bipolar II before he died. Turned out he had cancer and didn't tell any of his patients.

Paxil is such a class of drugs and years ago, I met the woman who was
part of the legal team organizing the class action law suit against the manufacturer.

My daughter is an artist too- a brilliant artist.

The studies on BP have shown that the same part of the brain responsible for
off the chart talent is the very same part of the brain that begins to have
electrical storms, as they were described to me by her therapist a few years ago
Onset usually occurs in the early twenties in women.
In other words, the very thing that makes you brilliant is the thing that
also brings on the undesirable effects of BP.
They suspect many of the most brilliant people in the world were undiagnosed BPs!
So you and she are in good company- that's the bright side.

My daughter fits the profile all too well.

About going off the meds- I was also told that may need to happen
a few times before she admits that she needs them

What ever she decides, I will be there for any fallout, should she elect
to try alternative approaches that fail.
And a few more failure may be what is needed for her to admit she needs
pharmacological assistance to have a normal life.

I just wish we could find the "magic medication bullet."

BHN

it is not that it should never be given to bp's, so much that it should never be given without a mood stabilizer. a lot of the suicides that have been reported are said to be undiagnosed bp's that went off the deep end. wellbutrin doesn't do that, so it is the frontline for anyone suspect of/dx'ed with bp.
it can take a long time to find a combo that works. if you want to try something harmless, add 1g of fish oil twice a day.
sam-e is used for depression in europe, but i would be curious to know how successfully. i tried it for a while and it did nada. at the time it was very expensive and not even available in prescription doses. that may have changed. you can always add these things after you see how she is doing, i guess.

try the depakote. it is not the front line drug for nothing. she might not even gain any weight. nobody gets all the side effects and most people get none. it is a long slog. i do agree she should wait till she gets home to try it.

hang in there, sweetie. one day at a time.

We are using fish oil, along with a b vitamin sublingual potion recommended
by the doctor after he saw her blood tests.

She has in essence agreed to give it ten days and then we see the doc again
to follow up.

As you know, young women are very sensitive about their weight-
the resperidol put ten pounds on her in two weeks- needless to say
she is not anxious to try another drug that may increase her weight even more.

Thanks for your love and support Mo- I am hanging in there, as I know you are.
What choice do we have?

BHN

my g/f tried it with no luck.. She is still on the hunt for a working med..

He told her because she takes hikes, rides a bike yada, yada,
the weight gain could be managed.

We've been though SO many drugs, all of them "fails."
It is SO frustrating and the disappointment mounts each time
a new drug fails...
I sort of had a total breakdown/meltdown the other night because
I feel so helpless to help her.

She has agreed to try Depakote for ten days, so we'll see.

Give your G/F a hug from me, will you?
She is fortunate to have a supportive B/F like you!
My daughter is very lonely right now, no B/F, not much contact with her friends-
she doesn't drive and neither do they and public transit in LA is a joke.

So for now, I am her comforter- I just wish she felt more
like reaching out to her friends right now, although sometimes
I am concerned because they tell her, "You are strong, you don't need medication..."
I no longer know if she does or doesn't.
Nothing seems to help her, that's for sure.

BHN

we can be here for each other and that is very powerful..

ps- my g.f has tried over 23 meds and put on over 100 pounds during her recovery..

the weight can come off - if the meds make life bearable then take them and deal with everything else as it comes..

thanks again and God bless..

My daughter has been diagnosed BP.
I have seen more depression than mania the last few years.
It is so hard, and I am so glad for this forum.
The only truly safe place on DU, if you ask me.

I've recently been hounded by a pack of baiting swarmers, so this place is
really good to come to rest.
I know they wouldn't dare attack here.
They'd be banned in a nano-second.

Take that as a warning, you lurking disruptors.
I know you check to see everything I post, but
don't EVEN try that shit in this group-
this is sacred ground on DU.

BHN

PTSD
GAD NOS
Bi Polar
Major Depression

===
There is no doubt that the ptsd is part of the puzzle. The rest of it we are unsure of.

...and not highly reliable.

My wife at the time was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. A psychiatrist put her on different drugs, including Depakote and Lithium. Here's the unreliable part: I never found out which of the drugs was the culprit, or if it was some combination. In any case, my wife attempted suicide by pills. The psychiatrist explained to me afterwards that sometimes medicines have the opposite effect of that which was intended. Again, I'm sorry, but I cannot stress enough that I don't know if this was Depakote, Lithium, or one of the other two or three drugs the Dr. prescribed. I haven't had a positive view of psychiatry since that incident. My ex and I still speak on occasion, but she probably wouldn't be cool with me asking which of the drugs she felt was most responsible. Thank you.

I'm so sorry you guys went through that.
The risk is always there, especially when trying to treat BP.
I think more doctors should emphasize close monitoring
by family, lovers, who ever is close to the patient, to be on the lookout
for worsening mood swings.

Thanks for sharing you story and I'm so happy to hear
that she survived.

BHN

friend in college, though, who took it and was able to manage her weight all right.

Good luck to you and your daughter!

She took her first dose last night- which I find VERY interesting
because I had told her I didn't want her to start it until she got
back from the desert. She had planned to go out to the Mojave
for a party with some friends and I told her I didn't want her starting
a new med without family supervision and monitoring in case
there were any bad reactions.
She agreed that it would not be a good idea.

But then, last night, when I checked her pill dispenser, I saw she had taken
her first dose.

Guess she didn't really want to go to the desert... she had checked the weather
report and found out it was going to be freezing out there...LOL.

I told her we could take a trip out to the Joshua Tree area together and stay in
a nice warm cabin and do some hiking and thrift store shopping instead.
Wink-wink, guess that sounded more appealing to her than freezing her ass off
in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of drunk kids. YES!

Good choice daughter!

BHN