Sorry, Florida, You Can’t Tell Women To Get Their Lady Bits Checked At The Dentist Anymore

Judicial Nice Time

Sorry, Florida, You Can’t Tell Women To Get Their Lady Bits Checked At The Dentist Anymore


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At least now and then


Just hours before it was supposed to go into effect — which seems to be a COMMON THEME TODAY — a federal judge put a new Florida anti-abortion law on hold, so the state can’t cut off funding to Planned Parenthood or go rummaging through the medical records of clinic patients simply for the hell of it. U.S. District Judge Robert Hinkle ordered the state not to cancel any contracts with women’s clinics, since the provisions were likely to be ruled unconstitutional anyway. Now Florida may have to do something else to make life miserable for Planned Parenthood, like require MRI scans of all employees every time they pick up their mail. You know, to “protect women’s health.”

Back in March, the Florida Legislature decided to punish Planned Parenthood for its nonexistent baby-parts black market by cutting off all state funding for preventive care like HIV testing and cancer screening at any clinic that also performs abortions, even though (you may have noticed) those services are not abortions, which are already illegal for governments to pay for. Similar bills have passed in other states, since if one state thinks of a novel way to try to squeeze Planned Parenthood out of business, all the other red states want in on the game, too.

Florida’s legislature, never content to blend in with the crowd, had to stir in an extra packet of Stupid Mix by helpfully suggesting where else low-income women could go to get their hoo-has looked at:
[S]everal state lawmakers who have insisted that plentiful alternatives exist for reproductive and sexual healthcare have cited a list of health centers that includes dentists, optometrists, and elementary schools. Well of course they did. The list also included a Salvation Army site, where you can get a pap smear and a cheap couch. Or on a cheap couch.

But for now, all the fun videos of women dropping by optometrists and saying, “Stop staring at my eyes, doc. My breasts are down here” will have to wait. Hinkle’s injunction placed a temporary hold on two of three parts of the law that Planned Parenthood had sued the state over. Planned Parenthood estimated that the ban on funding for healthcare services would prevent its Florida clinics from receiving about $500,000 annually — which would have defunded not only health screenings, but also a program to prevent school dropouts. Those teenagers can learn about staying in school at the Salvation Army just as well.

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Read more at http://wonkette.com/603649/sorry-florida-you-cant-tell-women-to-get-their-lady-bits-checked-at-the-dentist-anymore#K4cjvrg1tdbiV7je.99