and in other forums.

Best of luck, and thanks for what you do.

I had a weight problem after I had my two children. It never got to the point of diabetes, but I was definitely overweight. My trigger foods were sweets.

Ultimately, the only person who could help me decide to do something about it was me.

Weight Watchers worked for me. It includes learning, encouragement, support, and accountability (weekly weigh-in).

And the best way I found to not eat the wrong foods was to make sure they weren't in the house.

I wish you strength and courage in addressing this challenging issue.

And my solution to the sweet issue is a bowl of sugarless hard candies on the mantle.

I had given up then a WW at Work started up at my company. In 16 weeks I lost 20 pounds so I knew I could get the rest off. Our at work program stopped, so I continued going to meetings at a center. Ultimately I lost 60 pounds and for the most part have kept it off since 2007. For a while, my husband went too and lost some weight, but he would not track his food. I tried to get him to go back, but he says he knows he won't track his food so why bother. He is diabetic, takes a jillion meds and is tired all the time. I keep good food around and cook low point foods, but he eats junk and high point foods otherwise.

His problem is carb addiction which he readily admits. I love a good carb too but I know how to balance that out. If I could get him to eat fewer carbs it would help a lot, but he will eat those potato chips and Doritos. He also consumes mass quantities of diet Dr Pepper, and those artificial sweeteners cause insulin rebounds. With that stuff it is all about portion control. I wonder if she thinks (as many folks do ) that you have to eat WW branded foods like Jenny Craig,(you don't) or if she thinks the foods are too restricted,(they aren't) or if she thinks it is too hard to keep up with (it isn't). I run into people all the time who do not believe we can eat what we want but need to keep track of what we eat so we can balance it out.

Nowadays, you can run the whole program from your phone if you like, and keeping up with the points is so easy now since there are so many zero point foods.

I had a relapse and picked up 20 (it crept up on me slowly and it was my clothes that told me I needed to Do Something.) I went back in January of 2015 after my daughter set her wedding date and got rid of that weight in time to get my dress.

I picked up 10 over the last year and am now back at meetings. I am losing and working the program.

Good luck!

Coming from a mental healthcare provider for over 40 years.

You have to address the interal and emotional reasons for her eating issues in order to make changes.

The program encourages healthy options, but allows for choices as well. If she likes her tablet, it might be a nice option for her.

https://www.weightwatchers.com/us/article/living-diabetes

The first three months are free at the moment - https://www.weightwatchers.com/us/plans-2

Best of luck to you and yours.

She's very intelligent, loves our daughter unconditionally, has an amazing knack for arts and crafts (she's sewed amazing Halloween costumes for our daughter every year since she was born) and has a great sense of humor. We both love the same music, the same genres of movies and TV, having friends over for board games. I wouldn't still be with her if I didn't love her, after all.

But all of those things don't offset the horrible damage she's doing to her body, and the growing sense of separation that is forming from years of sleeping alone, or seeing my health improve and her's decline. I'm not going to confine myself and our daughter to the house because she doesn't want to go to the park, on hikes, to the beach, etc, so "family time" has turned into mostly "father-daughter time". And I can't help the resentment that's starting to build up inside of me as my daughter and I have to watch her slowly kill herself. Our daughter is 11, incredibly smart like her mother, and she's terrified by the thought of Mom suffering the health consequences of her diet. She was literally crying in my arms a few nights ago because she can easily research what untreated diabetes leads to, and it's not pretty.

Don't confuse my fears with trying to make her feel like shit. I miss my wife's companionship, the fun we had in our 20's, and the dreams we had when we decided to get married and have a child together. God, I want that back. But that can't happen unless she addresses her health problems.

repeated millions of times, sometimes self-inflicted, sometimes not. People get ill, they get weak, sometimes through bad luck. sometimes because they don't feel good about themselves and taking care of themselves isn't top of their minds. There is nothing unique about your situation. You say you love her. What does that mean to you? You talk as if she has gone and what is left is not enough. I hope you treat her with more sensitivity than is coming across. The very idea that you sleep in separate rooms says a lot. Ever heard of earphones or ear plugs? Ever heard of just sucking it up? You can hear my wife the other side of the house. There's no way I would sleep elsewhere. It would be cruel and appear judgmental. Your problems are a lot deeper.

My husband and I have slept in separate bedrooms for years due to his snoring and restlessness yet we still have a great marriage. Lots of people sleep in separate rooms out of necessity who thought they would never do that.

friends and family meetings. The whole family needs support.

I think he wants to help her get healthy and live a better life.

Husband just won't take that extra step to do what he knows he needs to do.

Dieting is just very hard for many people. You seem like you’re being very supportive, but, you have limits in reaching her.

I will defer to those far more knowledgeable than I in that arena.

help than a dietician. Trauma therapy and recovery groups like smart and Dharma have helped me work on my low self esteem and food as love issues.

continue on your path of healing.

Use low drama spices like some yellow stuff from South Asia or Mediterranean. Add a bit of random salad dressing to stir fries. small chops of vegetables will disguise the rice or pasta if you lather up the sauce.

Use more potatoes and yams.

Its like teaching a kid. This is how I learned to like onions.

Dilute the cola with Stevia just a bit. With all that sugar, she might not notice.


Hope this helps.

A1c 6.2 6.4 in last year.

Eating steaks! Screw junk food.

Cheese avocados and salads and nuts.

Eating junk food is baaaad.

Carbs kill.

Learn the lifestyle.

If she wants to keep her feet.

He nearly died. He was paralyzed on the left and couldn’t sit up by himself at one point. He spent 21 days in the hospital and 6 months in a rehab facility. He is able to walk now but will never work again. His diabetes is now completely controlled with only food. He is on a very strict diet. His A1c is 5.6

Backstory: type 2 diabetic who did not take his meds and worked 15 hour days routinely. This disease is no joke. It will absolutely catch up to her and it won’t be pretty. My thoughts are with you.

No one has the power to control another person’s eating habits. The only person who has that control is your wife. Keep cooking healthy meals and set a good example of a healthy lifestyle. One day she may have an epiphany and commit to change. She has to get there herself.

Dont guilt her, second give her options at first. If she wants to eat chips, get small lunch sized bags. Its not the answer but might help if its eating just to eat, smaller bags might make it easier for her to control how much she eats if she is just not paying attention to it.

My ex was a diabetic and would go to eat a little ice cream ( no sugar added ) and wind up eating 2 pints worth. We started getting her the little lunch type cups of ice cream, it helped.

Then we watched this video, and learned her diabetes doctor was more interested in having her for a patient than helping her. The doc actual told us ice cream was okay for her to eat, just take more insulin.

Imho Have a doctor give her some advice... no carb for 5-6 days and one cheat day of non crappy food including fat, sugar etc can work for weight loss. But diabetes needs to be factored in and managed.

Don’t let her believe she’s a failure for failing to avoid obesity and diabetes, and try to support what she is trying to do - by getting more advice and not Making her feel like she failed.

Good luck to you both!

but would reduce the fat intake somewhat. Speaking from experience reducing my own cravings, I would think along the lines of what foods satisfy cravings but are not high in carbs obviously. A nationally prominent nutritionist told me we need to get our nutrients from foods, not from supplements.

But I would argue we also have to make our liver work well to process fats, carbs, sugars. I responded well to 1/2 a B-complex once a day (mornings), 1/4 B-1 once a day (like no more than 50mg total), the diabetes standby chromium picolinate with lecithin, inositol, choline. I also added juiced kale, but if you can just cook it that's ok too. And I really liked substituting pink salt in place of all other forms. I found these ideas online and over the years. With the B-1 and pink salt I definitely sleep better, longer, straight through sometimes. I wasn't so cranky and my cravings were reduced. Oh, and plenty of eggs, not to excess, but I eat about 5 eggs a week, soft-boiled or 'wet' in the frying pan, or in pancakes. Hard eggs are a no-no, the fats get hard and hard to digest and process. And surely whole wheat flour and not white flour, and no corn meal.

Alt ideas, but not very expensive or difficult.

I just lost my partner, the absolute love of my life, because of long term complications of diabetes (got its start before I met him)... yours is not an easy journey

take care of yourself and your daughter, be an example w/o harsh criticism
cook healthy food for everyone
you cannot (and should not) control your wife... she really has to be the one in charge... if she eats a bag of chips, it does no good to judge her (it is most certainly your wife who is her harshest critic and she doesn't need more)
listen to her if she wants to talk about her health concerns and ask her how you can help... let her know you are there if she needs help

somehow though, it is good if your wife had a "reality check" about what diabetes can do to hers and/or any person's body... loss of limbs, heart problems, kidney failure... it's not pretty

and don't listen to people posting here judging you... you don't need that

I know just like she knows I needed a change but carbs are addicting in any form and when we have learned from childhood on to use that as comfort its a hard habit to break.

My adult kids asked me many times to cut down on sugar and I would try then go back like your wife. What finally scared me straight was very high blood pressure and finally a new doctor instead of just raising my meds which she did offered me a book to read about sugar detox.

She probably thought I would toss it and in the beginning I wondered about that. Her book was much to strict measuring food and I knew I would fail so I searched sugar detox in FB groups and found a couple of great groups. One had these zoom meetings like AA to give extra emotional support. They never shame anyone no matter what happens but work on the core of why you eat like you do. They don't talk about food itself or weight at all. Its not a diet just eating healthy and learning to love yourself.

I got off the sugar and flour products but was still overeating cheese nuts etc with the same type of emotions so I asked my hubby to help me since I didn't want to have them completely gone. I bought a fridge lock box and he opens it once a day and I take out just the amount I should have. But I had to be months off the other stuff first.

I used to hate if my husband who can eat anything and not gain weight would give me suggestions. I hated that he could turn down sugar. In my group they say there are 3 types of people with sugar, 1/3 no problem with it at all like him, 1/3 harmful users and a 1/3 that are addicted. I finally did it all on my own and he learned to back off and say nothing when I struggled and let me deal with it.

Now my husband and children are proud of me and I hope that continues but its day by day as I know I am in the addicted category.

Behavior, then you realize how much harder to change somebody else.

I see a nutritionist once a month and she helps me stay on track literally, reads my tracker (MyFitnessPal)

And helps me set and reset goals. She told me once when I brought up the Jenny Craig plan that all of those plans work because they also tell you to 5-6 servings of fruits and vegetables in the course of the day.

If it’s in anyway possible to amp up the veggies from side dish to multiple side dishes that’s a good place to start. hang in there buddy good luck

hope you got the right answers

Good luck. Im into Brain Energy by Palmer. Audible booksare good for me.
Just about diet and weight and brain health. She is suffering. Since she is leaning towards keto she may benefit. She may be even hating her own body.
So much more to say but I have to go to work now, thank you for your forbearqncere formatting and probably spelling

Not suggesting you bring this up, just for your info. Re Chips etc- we fall short but what matters is getting back up, release shame and judgement, exhale regret, inhale hope. Might help to share that one.

She may feel its impossible. Its def possible!

Per my nutritionist- (for me)
1- 22 grams soluble fiber daily. It grabs fat in the bloodstream and gets it out of you
2- 1 oz of water per 2 lbs weight
3- 1 hour of some kind of a activity. Start slow, fine but start
4- and last- track intake. Myfitnessplan works.

sending you both aloha.

https://www.bloodsugar101.com/

In Your Area, Try to Attend a Meeting. If There are 2 or more, try to attend a couple of meetings. It is worth
going out of your way for a meeting. I've attended hundreds of meetings of IA. Some are very good, and some are
not so good. So, if more than one meeting exists, then try to attend many meetings.
.............. I repeat: Overrates Anonymous saved my life.............................................................................

...............Just so you know the facts, I started Overrates Anonymous in 1980.
............... I lost about 50 to 55 pounds the first year or two and kept that weight off for over 40 years.

.I weighed about 210 in 1980, and now I weigh about 150 or 155.
After 2 years into the program, I threw away the scale for weighing myself. I haven't own one since 1982.
The only time I weigh myself, is in the doctor's office. After a while of doing this, I know approximately what
I weigh through my belt holes: So many holes equals so many pounds. It takes a while to figure this out, and
is worth the effort.

I repeat, Overrates Anonymous is Free and Volunteer Run. After a while, I volunteered