she was from, a valley my peeps had lived in for over 200 years, well we gave it to the local church. But we could afford to do that. Still it feels awful to be physically and finally cut off from a place you love. So I know where you are coming from.

The rub is that if she really does sell it I have family surrounding it. I have two cousins and an aunt and uncle there. So it would be our family surrounding someone living in my house. Ugh.

If it's a revocable trust with you and your sins as trustees upon your mother's death, she can do whatever she wants.

I'm going to try and get a copy of the trust

a trustee you'll need the original or a motorized copy.

on staff. They check the copy against the original then put their notary stamp and signature on the last page.

You commented: " That would be a good idea. To become a trustee you'll need the original or a motorized copy."

happens to her (inherited from your father) assets. She would have to have an attorney change the trust before she could sell any property already allocated in the current document.

But what options do I have? I mean do I have a say?

But we can't afford that right now sadly. The house and land is worth over a million.

She can do what she wants with it. Upon her death the trust will be executed by whoever she has appointed as trustee.

She is not the trustee, but will be a benefactor after her mother passes.

it might be best to let another family grow up in that house.

I hope your mother intends to leave the proceeds to you and your brother when she passes. But you don't want the house to be left vacant for years if she can't deal with it anymore.

I can find a job anywhere because of my background in communications and management. But I always told my wife we would go with her and I stand by that. So it just sucks all around.

to give up the family land. It sounds like you have no plans to ever live there, so when your Mother passes on the house will fall in disrepair. So what is the better option? Selling it to a family to make their own happy memories or leaving empty?

I actually think a compromised can be made. Let you mother sell the house and most of the land. Pick some acreage to build a smaller, more easily kept up home and that goes to you to use for vacations.

If she doesn't want to live there anymore just ask for acreage for you to build a cabin on.

But honestly it is the house I am attached to. I have been through a lot there and even at 37 it is still my home.

it's linked to your memories of those who have died, and happy memories of childhood, and the long family history. It's going to be very hard to lose it.

Is there a chance the family-- your brother, your cousins-- can make your mom an offer? She might well accept much less if she knows someone in the family will be taking care of it. How is she fixed financially?

Consider her viewpoint. She probably wants to get out from under the work of taking care of the house and land, and also she probably wants some money to be secure. You might be able to persuade her to sell to family, or lease it back to you, so that she has an income or some capital, and someone else will take care of the house.

You might talk to her about this. A long time ago, my parents sold a house that wasn't anything special, but it was home for me. They did it because they needed the money. IF they would have told me and my brothers, we might have managed to buy them out... but they were ashamed and so did it quickly.
Talk to your mother-- lovingly-- she might be willing to discuss some options. What does she want out of this, what would make her happy? It might not have to be a million dollars.

is there a compromise you can work out with her? If she wants to get out, perhaps you can help with that in exchange for her not selling the house. Another option might be for her to keep the house and a few acres for you and your brother and sell the rest. It doesn't have to be all or nothing with so many acres involved. I'd guess that the farm ground is worth much more than the house.

You're sure to get more eyeballs there.