you are being very sweet about it

Family was grateful.

You could “rent out” the kitchen to them.

One of my relatives even beat me out for cake master, partially because i wasn’t good enough at pie.

I was usually grateful for their efforts.

You don’t have to tolerate a mess in your kitchen.

I make a ton of food daily in my kitchen…it’s a sacred space. Family can use my space but I’d better not have to pick up after them.

Music always helps.

(anyone else have a fav song?)

Barney - The Clean Up Song (SONG)

https://m.

You just have to tactful. If you don't nip it in the bud now you will promote this ongoing behavior. This goes for both adults and children.

I finally told her I want to continue to treat her like family, but she still needs to act like a guest and cleaned up after herself.

It worked.

and offer to pitch in. A nice kid will accept a lesson on cleaning up afterward, I doubt she'll want a kitchen full of cockroaches and rodents. Do this gracefully and it will probably be accepted the same way, and nephew has to contribute, too, and not just supervise.

I came home one night to home-made brownies, and had to bite my tongue to avoid asking, why is there flour in the microwave and on the cat? OTOH, he does do most of the dishes, so I don't complain too much about tomato sauce splashed on the window sill.

If it's a one-off, I'd say "thank you" and maybe offer to help clean-up afterward to give her a hint.

the kitchen after a cooking session!

I know it's difficult to relinquish the kitchen - our domain. During the first year of Covid, I taught my SO how to bake bread. He has taken over all of the bread, specialty breads, rolls, etc. baking. Then we bought a pasta attachment for the Kitchen Aid. Yup, he makes homemade pasta that is delicious.

Every evening while making supper he asks if he could help, and in the past I always said no, not wanting to relinquish my domain. But lately I've taken him up on his offer, and frankly, he's a great sous chef and we have fun in the kitchen.

And in case you are wondering, he does help with the clean up.

To me it's a win-win situation.

Good luck with your future niece-in-law.

I am a grump about sharing my kitchen. Debbie, the young un was fine overall. My nephew & niece to be seem happy, they move easy together.

Debbie & Steven cleaned the kitchen up, the cake was good.

I'm a clean as you go cook, so by the time the food is cooking, the utensils are rinsed or in the sink, the counter is cleaned and wiped, and the ingredients are put away. The cook you graciously allowed in your kitchen might wait till the food is complete before she cleans up. If you are sitting around eating cake and the kitchen is still untidy, say something like 'the cake is delicious, please let me help you clean up the kitchen.' Or, if the cake is going out the door, say something like, 'Oh before you go, let's get the kitchen tidied up.'

You are patient and kind, and I hope it all works out