I can't remember all that I did or did not do (both good and bad, lol) with all my kids, but I do remember I did #3. I think it was good for my kids to see (and help) us take care of our older and vulnerable family members with love and respect, not just tolerance.

As humans, we often make caring for ourselves the most important thing. And sometimes, that’s what we need to do to get through life. However, making caring for others an important part of their life will teach your children how to reach out to other people.

seems I/we did something right, as both daughters are now raising VERY kind kids.

You could take my father's approach:

"Whazzamattah witcha, ya moke ya?"

I turned out pretty good.

and then the explosion of protests, attended by all my grandchildren, my son texted me. He said thank you mom, for raising me not to hate anyone. Nicest thing he could say.