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MuseRider

(34,334 posts)
Sun Jun 26, 2022, 11:32 PM Jun 2022

I want to be done!

I lost my wonderful bobtailed kitty on the 9th of this month. 14 years old and he was the coolest dude around. I thought I was going to cry myself to death. Last week one of my 2 goats died. I loved the hell out of those 2 boys (goats) that one of my sons gifted us (mostly me) when we started building our house on my farm land. Just tonight I lost my second and last goat, they were both 14 years old too. I knew he would go pretty quickly without his pal. I did every thing I could to keep him happy but....

All 3 of these wonderful creatures found their way into my life and I could not be happier to have had them but tonight I just feel totally wrung out with deep, deep grief. This last guy had a stroke and I sat in the shed with him for hours holding his head while he had seizures until it was finally done. I find myself not even able to think, I named my farm Dancing Goat Farm because I loved those 2 so much. My husband had a lovely sign made for the front gate with that on it. I have a goat weather vane (named after an ex DUers goat who she lost some time ago) in honor of our friendship and her goat.

I knew when I finally was able to live out here that this was going to happen. I actually planned for being on the downside of farm critters by the time I hit 70. I had 7 horses and am down to 3 old horses, goats are now gone and I just do not know how I can move passed this last loss. I will not be 70 for another year and a half. I was correct that that would be good for my age but the pain and ache I feel right now for those 3 deaths in such a short time has brought me up short. I want more, they are so awesome and there is so much love there, so much.

We did adopt a rescue dog this last week. We now have 2 very different rescue dogs. I have one indoor cat left and a barn cat that is wherever he wants to be. He belonged to my neighbor but decided to live here and she was fine with that. There are, of course, tons of cats around here that get picked up and taken care of then re-released out here so there will never be a shortage. I guess I am just writing now because I feel so lost and sad and do not know what to do or say. Thanks for reading. They truly are our hearts and of the most important loves we have. I just do not know how to get passed this, this time. Thanks for reading this dopey, sad post. I needed to write it.

17 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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I want to be done! (Original Post) MuseRider Jun 2022 OP
That's a lot of loss to be hit with in such a... 3catwoman3 Jun 2022 #1
Thank you for that. MuseRider Jun 2022 #3
My heart hurts for you. sprinkleeninow Jun 2022 #2
Thank you so much. MuseRider Jun 2022 #15
I am sorry for and understand your loss LetMyPeopleVote Jun 2022 #4
Thank you. MuseRider Jun 2022 #16
They are family. Jack-o-Lantern Jun 2022 #5
... 2naSalit Jun 2022 #6
I'm so sorry. And I know that different deaths in my life have affected me differently Maraya1969 Jun 2022 #7
They are family, they are our hearts. I am so very sorry that you are going niyad Jun 2022 #8
I know the heartache and pain, MuseRider slightlv Jun 2022 #9
I always refer to new cats who join the family after an "old" cat... 3catwoman3 Jun 2022 #14
Peace be to you and him shenmue Jun 2022 #10
Sending you peace and strength, Muserider. momta Jun 2022 #11
I am so very sorry. StarryNite Jun 2022 #12
Deepest condolences SheltieLover Jun 2022 #13
I'm so sorry. piddyprints Jun 2022 #17

3catwoman3

(25,344 posts)
1. That's a lot of loss to be hit with in such a...
Sun Jun 26, 2022, 11:38 PM
Jun 2022

...short time.

One of our vets, now retired, once said to me after yet another cat ran out of lives, that we bring animals into our lives, knowing that we will likely outlive them, but we do it anyway, because our lives are so much richer while they are in it.

It hurts like hell when we have to bid them farewell.

Hugs from afar.

MuseRider

(34,334 posts)
3. Thank you for that.
Sun Jun 26, 2022, 11:42 PM
Jun 2022
back.

Thank you. That Rainbow Bridge had better be real! I do not believe anything else but that bridge, if it is not there I will join the throng of people battering the door down to find out why!

sprinkleeninow

(20,534 posts)
2. My heart hurts for you.
Sun Jun 26, 2022, 11:42 PM
Jun 2022

I don't know why but losing beloved pets can be more sorrow-filled than having family members repose.

Please know that many are and will be sharing in your sorrow.

From my heart to yours, much love ❤ and understanding.

MuseRider

(34,334 posts)
15. Thank you so much.
Mon Jun 27, 2022, 09:21 AM
Jun 2022

I feel the love and understanding. It always helps just to put it down and have people who understand write back. I have heard too many times, it was just a goat what is your problem? I want to know what their problem is. LOL. Thanks so much.

MuseRider

(34,334 posts)
16. Thank you.
Mon Jun 27, 2022, 09:22 AM
Jun 2022

He was not a tiny baby that the others were when he came here. I used to think than made a difference in the way you feel but it certainly doesn't.

Maraya1969

(22,967 posts)
7. I'm so sorry. And I know that different deaths in my life have affected me differently
Mon Jun 27, 2022, 12:22 AM
Jun 2022

Some of so much worse than others. I don't know why.

niyad

(119,309 posts)
8. They are family, they are our hearts. I am so very sorry that you are going
Mon Jun 27, 2022, 12:24 AM
Jun 2022

through so much loss and grief. Sending hugggggs and vibes for healing and comfort. Please know that your DU family is here for you.

slightlv

(4,225 posts)
9. I know the heartache and pain, MuseRider
Mon Jun 27, 2022, 12:44 AM
Jun 2022

and nothing but time can lessen the grief. I lost 3 of mine within a month; 2 of those no one could call unexpected. The oldest was 23 years old. But I did everything I could to help her hold on just one more day. The one that was a surprise I could honestly say was my "best friend." This all happened in March. My grief is still so close to the surface that a picture or a thought can set me off into a crying jag. A good friend of mine brought me a 6 week old kitten, and I adore him. He's a wonderful distraction and I do plan to outlive him, even as old as I am right now. He's most assuredly not a replacement for my "Sweetie" but he's a lovie in his own right. He has his own attitude and his own personality. And he has helped me through the nights, which have been the worse for me.

Maybe give yourself a month or so and rethink about rescuing a goat; or maybe giving your remaining indoor cat all your attention. Like I said, it can't take the place of what you've lost. But it does help fill the hole when you've lost multiples like that so close together. You might even think about fostering... doesn't work for me, but maybe it would for you. I'd be a complete foster fail. A week or so would be all it'd take and I'd fall so in love with 'em, they'd never leave my sight!

Peace and blessings to you as you go through this time. May you take comfort in the memories of all the good times and wrap yourself in the warmth of the loved shared among you all.

3catwoman3

(25,344 posts)
14. I always refer to new cats who join the family after an "old" cat...
Mon Jun 27, 2022, 05:24 AM
Jun 2022

...has left us as successors, never as replacements. We've had many worthy successors over the years.

I would be a total foster fail, too.

momta

(4,104 posts)
11. Sending you peace and strength, Muserider.
Mon Jun 27, 2022, 01:55 AM
Jun 2022

And thank you for giving them love and care in their lives.

piddyprints

(14,795 posts)
17. I'm so sorry.
Mon Jun 27, 2022, 12:23 PM
Jun 2022

That is far too many losses so close together.

I really hope you will be able to enjoy the happy memories of your kitty and goats. They certainly know how to get to us, don't they?

We're going through something similar. We lost a 16-year-old cat a few months ago to some strange cyst in her neck that burst and was inoperable, after having it treated for almost a year. Now our two 15 1/2-year-old dogs are scheduled for their final "farm call" next week. One can barely walk and the other won't eat anymore. They've been together at least since they were found on the road at 3 months old. They might be littermates. We're trying to make them as comfortable as possible. I'm constantly on the verge of tears. It's almost worse that they wag their tails and smile whenever I talk to them.

Meanwhile, we have a 36-year-old horse who appears to be in good health but ... you never know when something will happen suddenly. And 3 of our remaining kitties are geriatric at 15, 15 1/2, and 19.

One thing that has helped tremendously is that we have 2 younger kitties, 2 and 7 years old, who are such comics that they remind us of the joy the older ones used to have. I really do hope your rescue dogs can help in that way. I would probably be in the pit of despair without my two little clowns.

I think I can safely say that everyone in this group feels your pain.

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