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cate94

(2,888 posts)
Thu Oct 27, 2022, 08:05 PM Oct 2022

We've had Goldie for nearly twelve years.

She was a rescue, who seemed extremely fear aggressive when we met her at her foster’s house. Back up barking, showing teeth. My wife said yes, so we brought her home. On the way home I did my best to pet her, but I could barely reach. We stopped at the grocery to get some food, because it was Sunday night. When I ran in she started crying. When I got in the car she jumped on my lap! As soon as we got home she jumped on the couch next to and put her head on my shoulder.

Over the years we’ve had many adventures and walks twice a day. During one of th.e walks she fainted. We turned around and went home. I didn’t know what was wrong and I didn’t know what to do! The next day we went to the vet and found out she had IMHA -immune mediated hemolytic anemia- a deadly coNdition caused by a vaccine! Two and a half years later, my girl was the 1 out of 4 that - mange’s to survive. Immune suppression. A schedule of prednisone, mycopheolate azithromyacin and omeprozole to help her stomach. It’s a costly disease that we were able to afford, and a pill schedule we could mange to keep. She got fat on the prednisone and due to the disease unable,to get excersize.

So then we effectively killed her immune system to save my Goldie’s life. Then she began to have repeated UTI’s until she started bleeding. They said she had bladder cancer. Thankfully, it was a bad cyst. And again we figured it out.

Now she has arthritis. She can barely stand. She is eating only turkey, rice and green beans. Not all s. Just some. Our walks are at a snails pace. We have her on meds that are controlling her pain. But I’m trying to process letting my best friend go. Sometimes life sucks

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We've had Goldie for nearly twelve years. (Original Post) cate94 Oct 2022 OP
Been there. My vet said if the pet is happy to see you and is eating, it's not time. It's usually Karadeniz Oct 2022 #1
Has vet tried cold laser therapy for arthritis? SheltieLover Oct 2022 #2
It's never easy. SlimJimmy Oct 2022 #3
My heart goes out to you and your wife. MLAA Oct 2022 #4
Hi cate94 louslobbs Oct 2022 #5
That's what my little girl was like for 24 hours before BigmanPigman Oct 2022 #6
I'm so very sorry cate94 Oct 2022 #10
They can never live long enough it seems. BigmanPigman Oct 2022 #11
Thank you my friend louslobbs Oct 2022 #16
I have experienced both depression BigmanPigman Oct 2022 #19
Let's both do our best louslobbs Oct 2022 #20
I'm so sorry for your loss! cate94 Oct 2022 #9
Thank you cate louslobbs Oct 2022 #17
Lady of the Beasts, please take Your little Markie gently home in Your loving arms, and niyad Oct 2022 #14
Niyad louslobbs Oct 2022 #18
This message was self-deleted by its author Mozeltov Cocktail Oct 2022 #7
I'm so sorry. nt Phoenix61 Oct 2022 #8
I couldn't get the pic to attach Hestia Oct 2022 #12
I loved that cate94 Oct 2022 #13
Sending hugs and vibes for best possible outcome. Your DU family is here niyad Oct 2022 #15
We let Goldie go on 11/2 cate94 Nov 2022 #21

Karadeniz

(23,428 posts)
1. Been there. My vet said if the pet is happy to see you and is eating, it's not time. It's usually
Thu Oct 27, 2022, 08:12 PM
Oct 2022

harder for us to see them struggle than it is for them to struggle. They've given us so much pleasure, it's impossible to imagine life without the source of all that pleasure.

SlimJimmy

(3,251 posts)
3. It's never easy.
Thu Oct 27, 2022, 08:14 PM
Oct 2022

Letting our family members go is one of the hardest things we will ever do. And to anyone that says they are just pets, never have and never will understand.

louslobbs

(3,416 posts)
5. Hi cate94
Thu Oct 27, 2022, 09:00 PM
Oct 2022

This morning I had to take my beautiful chihuahua mix (Markie) to VCA in Palm Springs to end his suffering. I have had bouts of crying all day. He stopped eating, was barely drinking and had to be carried in and out of the house to go to the bathroom. This morning when I got up, he couldn’t. He tried, but was unable. I picked him up and carried him outside and balanced him on the grass. He was unsteady, but was able to urinate while I balanced his rear. He just stood there and couldn’t move, so I picked him up and carried him into the house. I balanced him near his water bowl and he was unable to drink. Two weeks ago he was 13 lbs and today he weighed in at 9lbs. Spend as much time as you can stroking and massaging Goldie. I too was processing letting go for the past two weeks. I knew the end was near, but I was hoping he would just go to sleep and not wake up. I wanted something to relieve me of my responsibility, something else to intervene. I knew Markie needed me to help him and I knew he was struggling, but I was stuck on the letting go part. I probably should have done this yesterday, but I needed more time and was still hoping he would pass in his sleep. This morning forced the decision and his suffering was ended. My veterinarian told me it was time and that I was doing the right thing. The whole time, tears flowed down my face. I held Markie the whole time as his body went limp. The doctor checked for a heart beat and said I’m sorry for your loss, you did the right thing. She said I could stay with Markie as long as I needed, but I kissed him on his muzzle a few times, told him I loved him, thanked the doctor and went out to the car and cried. Letting go is hard and when the time comes, you will do what’s in Goldie’s best interest and it will be hard and it will hurt. Markie was adopted out of a hoarder situation 11 years ago. The place where he existed, was a shed with 100 or so other dogs. He had a piece of his right ear missing, a large scar on the top of his head, and his tail was missing a piece in the middle. He was obviously beat up and attacked be other dogs. He ate whatever the other dogs left, if they left anything. He had bad teeth and mange. But we fell in love with him. The first year in our home, he paced and paced and paced. He had to be corralled in a bathroom and left alone there before he’d eat. It was hard to watch, but we just let him be and allowed him to decide when and if he would trust us. Slowly but surely he did and we bonded. I can’t believe he’s not here tonight and I’ve done more crying while writing this. But the memories are beautiful of the dog that emerged and the friend he became and the joy he gave to us. Letting go is hard. I will keep you and Goldie in my thoughts.

BigmanPigman

(52,288 posts)
6. That's what my little girl was like for 24 hours before
Thu Oct 27, 2022, 10:37 PM
Oct 2022

she died. She had been declining for a few weeks but she could still wag her tail and try to stand and drink. I had made plans for her to die in our home a few days before. That was over 2 1/2 years ago and I still cry all the time, like right now.

It never gets better for me. I hope you can handle it better than I have.

BigmanPigman

(52,288 posts)
11. They can never live long enough it seems.
Fri Oct 28, 2022, 01:37 AM
Oct 2022

Mine was 17 but she was my baby. In a perfect world my dog would die with me...no broken hearts for either of us.

louslobbs

(3,416 posts)
16. Thank you my friend
Fri Oct 28, 2022, 09:37 AM
Oct 2022

I’m sorry for your loss. I’m going to do my best to use the wonderful memories to help with my pain. We all try to do the best that we can in any given situation, but in matters of the heart, there are no absolute formulas. The pattern in the house is broken and so this morning the tears are falling and the raw pain is pretty debilitating. I pretty much wanted to stay in bed, but other responsibilities would not allow that choice. I went to bed at 8:30 last night and cried alone and fell to sleep. I guess I fell asleep because I was pretty well exhausted from the stress of the past two weeks and the brain finally allowed that to happen. My Fitbit was showing numbers related to restlessness and sleep that were pretty scary. But last night my body just let go I guess and I did sleep thankfully. Just do your best to use the beautiful memories of your little girl, to try to mitigate the sadness and depression, I will try and do the same. But this morning, it’s still to fresh and painful and I’m not having a whole lot of success. Please take care and thank you for sharing with me. And as for doing better than you, you are doing the best you can. Can you do better? All we can do is try.

BigmanPigman

(52,288 posts)
19. I have experienced both depression
Fri Oct 28, 2022, 06:31 PM
Oct 2022

and now grief. I think grief is much, much worse. My apt is an empty tomb without my happy, loving baby. They will always be our babies. My grief is as bad as when my dad suddenly died 4 years ago. The best I can do is "manage" it. I hope you can manage it better than I have.

louslobbs

(3,416 posts)
20. Let's both do our best
Fri Oct 28, 2022, 08:03 PM
Oct 2022

I had a rough day, but I will try to do something tomorrow that doesn’t involve the replaying of the last two weeks and the finality of it all. I swear, I was in stories all day and none of them were about the wonderful memories. The past ten years had many beautiful, fun, happy and exciting times. Today I wallowed in my grief, I will try to do better tomorrow. I want you to try and do the same thing. Your in my thoughts bigmanpigman.

louslobbs

(3,416 posts)
17. Thank you cate
Fri Oct 28, 2022, 09:45 AM
Oct 2022

And you will do right by Goldie. Your love for Goldie will be your guide. I’ll be thinking of you both, as I try to adjust to moving forward in life without Markie’s physical presence. His pillow, his stuffed lemur and skunk are still where he left them. I sat there this morning drinking my coffee and cried. I’m sure that will happen for a while. Thank you again for sharing your story about Goldie.

niyad

(120,028 posts)
14. Lady of the Beasts, please take Your little Markie gently home in Your loving arms, and
Fri Oct 28, 2022, 08:41 AM
Oct 2022

send peace and comfort to his grieving loved ones.

I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious Markie. May memories bring you joy.

louslobbs

(3,416 posts)
18. Niyad
Fri Oct 28, 2022, 09:48 AM
Oct 2022

Thank you so much for thinking of me and Markie at this difficult time. Thank you for the kind words.

Response to cate94 (Original post)

niyad

(120,028 posts)
15. Sending hugs and vibes for best possible outcome. Your DU family is here
Fri Oct 28, 2022, 08:42 AM
Oct 2022

for you and your beautiful Goldie.

cate94

(2,888 posts)
21. We let Goldie go on 11/2
Fri Nov 4, 2022, 08:20 AM
Nov 2022

Our vet said that it was the last act of love we could give her.

My heart is broken, but I know we did our best for her. It was our last act of love for her.

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