Our adoption failed

Oscar, our 16yo cat passed away last May and we were ready to add another fur baby to our family. We have a 6yo male orange tabby - total personality - who gets along well with other cats.

So after looking through the shelter pics and reading histories, we ended up adopting a 4yo DLH cat six weeks ago. The shelter thought he was fine with other cats. He had been at a solo cat foster for three weeks before we brought him home.

I am used to introducing cats (had many cats and am a vet) so I knew it could take time and kept the cats apart the first day or so. When they finally met, the new cat attacked the old cat. Not a normal attack either - ears back and growling and then a swipe or two - full on tackle with arms raised like a hunter.

Of course I separated them (separate floors) and decided to take it even slower. They could see each other when the door was open to the upstairs.

After a week, I got COVID and isolated with the new kitty and bonded, naturally. Fell in love.

We kept trying to introduce the cats once a week for the next five weeks and thought we were getting somewhere. The kitten could be in the same room with the old cat and totally ignore him.

Unfortunately, this last weekend the new cat went back to attack mode again (with no warning) and we had to make the decision to take him back to the foster’s. We know he would make a sweet companion but probably needs to be in an only cat home.

I know we made the right decision, but I sure do miss him. I’ve also never had an adoption fail before. Wondering if I should have tried harder, given it even more time. My husband wanted to take him back after the first attack and kind of blames me for holding out long enough for me (and my kiddo) to fall in love.

The shelter said we could call and check in on him.