Thinking of my son in laws and old man this morning two tour Vietnam vet.

Son in law three tour army vet one Iraq two afghan stopped around to borrow my car to drive to VA outpatient PTSD care I love my son in laws I actually will hug them and kiss both son in laws on foreheads both vets war on terror other son in law naval corpsman walked with marine infantry Iraq.

My father two tours with the Herd sky soldiers 173rd airborne brigade he was retired medically in 1971 he lost leg on his second tour he was career soldier enlisted in 1963.

Me I was lucky 84-87 my first duty assignment was 82nd 325 PIR then PCS West Germany medical broke ankle twice on drops months apart broken yet oh well off to leg land and I was lucky total peace time.

In conversation with my son he was asking me why I never was close with my father I told him later in life about 1990 we kind had detente between him and my brothers and i.

I said your grandfather had a lot of fucking memories that he would medicate with whisky and in turn your grandmother packed all five us boys up in the 70’s and she left.

They both my parents never divorced they eventually got back together and had decent marriage until the old man was killed in 2001 in car accident.

Yet we we’re talking about his brother my other boy who dropped out college to enlist in marine corp I said here is hoping his time as well is all peace.

And talking to my boy who was getting ready for local university this morning I said probably in 85 I actually started to understand why my father was way he was.

Now in no way do I take my time in service that seriously we were kids most us 18 years old I enlisted just see if I could do it cuz I’m like I wonder.

Yet I said to my kiddo after the gym coffee and showering at home. I said so we’re on weapons range down at Bragg and we’re being taught how to operate Warsaw pact weapons why I asked him ( Ok sarcasm Du community) the mission of the 82nd is to jump in and to become surrounded seriously it is not trying to drink all the booze in Fayetteville or Fayettenam and screw all the airborne groupies.

So you have to cross train and so it’s at night and I’m watching my bros lite up the targets with the RPG and the AK47 the AK 74 and the 12/7 a Sov heavy machine gun 51 cal just like we have our 50 caliber ma deuces.

Now Nato we have red tracers Warsaw pact green tracers and i told my boy watching the Dshk 51 rounds go out maybe deflect fly up into night sky listening to the thump thump of it firing feeling the blast waves coming off of it I started thinking of the old man.

What it must have been like for my father and his fellow sky soldiers bros constantly miserable frightened maybe middle no moon night on side of a mountain in Vietnam just exhausted very little sleep and then from maybe all day humping through mountain jungles then you gotta dig in build two man fighting holes cut trees for top cover.

Then maybe you got go out on ambush just get cat naps oh god for me I been terrified of getting listening post two maybe three men and a radio pitch fucking black. Straining to listen to any foreign sound is that a NVA trooper that broke a branch moving perhaps five feet from me.

Can’t see a fucking thing remember this was pre Nods night sights. Or your on watch in your night time defensive you built and you hear thunk thunk fuck tube’s incoming mortars and you roll over grab your compass and map under poncho using red lense trying to get direction on enemy tubes for counter battery fire.

Then mortars hit start crunching tearing through you defense perimeter then they stop silence you know what’s up next you been through it before they coming to kill you.
Then maybe you hear a NVA NCO blow his whistle coming from jungle signaling his men maybe he’s fine NCO your doppelgänger being American NCO you both love and care four your young troopers.

Then the night erupts green tracers pouring into your line your people pouring out counter suppressing fire from their fighting positions red tracers and under flares you see NVA troopers running up mountain side coming out jungle.

Oh I said to my son to me the worse would been being on listening post you radio maybe two other guys NVA swarming all around you on way to try overrun your positions imagine the fear I said to my son.

So reason my father was the way he was because of experiencing life like this as young adult.

You better be screaming into that PRC radio cuz fuck being silent now and let the CP know listening post your trying to crawl out line of both fires the stress your completely alone with your fear of I’m gonna die tonight.

So I said standing next to that Dushka heavy on that range that night I started feeling empathy for my father he was on receiving end of that monster probably many times.

So yea he was ok from a distance it’s just he had his demons and after that night I started trying to understand him more. And yea I’m glad we kind got to know each other later so I realize he suffered PTSD and before sought help he didn’t know and then in the 80’s PTSD was in its infancy of treatment.


One tour of that shit mess you up two tours yea no way.
Anyway just a ramble my mind is racing this morning take it easy D.U. Community love the one your with and if you know combat vet give them hug and kiss their forehead.