She's Having An Abortion: What to Say, What NOT To Say
I found this article about what to say, and what NOT to say, to someone who tells you that they are having an abortion, very useful. Please remember, it may be one of the hardest decisions she's ever faced, and if she is telling you, she either trusts you completely, or believes that you are a person she can go to for support. It's possible that you are the only person she's going to tell. Even if you or someone you love has had an abortion, you don't need to talk about it. Focus on HER journey, her feelings, her needs. This article has some very good ideas about turning around the first thing that comes to mind to say and reframing it so that it is helpful and supportive for a girl/woman who may be making a very difficult, lonely decision.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/what-to-say-what-not-to-say-support-friend-having-abortion_l_61f1b8b0e4b067cbfa17e308?blm_aid=1821592577&fbclid=IwAR2sKnd3PDXQ6Eo5ILhqN_eGSx4SzXLpIKjKS-CKgVZFHIsp1TAEjOH8MLk
What not to say: “How does your partner/sexual partner feel about this?”
What to say instead: “Do you feel like you have enough support? How can I support you?”
What not to say: “Why?” or “Have you thought about all your options?”
What to say instead: “You can tell me as much or as little as you want. Just know that I unequivocally support whatever decision you make.”
What not to say: “I’m pro-choice, but I would never have an abortion myself.”
What to say instead: “If you need help with anything before, during or after your abortion, there are lots of resources.”
What not to say: “This must be so hard” or “It’s no big deal. I know other people who have had an abortion and they’re fine.”
What to say instead: “How are you feeling right now?”
What not to say: “Were you using birth control?” or “Haven’t you already had an abortion before?”
What to say instead: “I’m so glad you were able to make a decision that felt right for you. I’m grateful you shared this with me, and however you’re feeling is valid.”
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